One thing I have been struggling a lot with lately is feeling alone. It's kinda crazy, because there is facebook and email, and various ways to stay in touch with people. But that almost makes it worse, since even with the ease, I scarcely hear from people. And I feel forgotten. Sometimes I feel like there isn't anyone at home who knows where I am. Sometimes I initiate contact, but if I don't, nothing happens, and I talk only to my family. Which I like to do. But sometimes it stinks to not have anyone else to talk to.
It's hard when every time I leave, people are like, "No!!! Don't leave! I'll miss you so much!", but then when I'm gone, it's as though we never met in the first place. And then I return home, and they talk about how much they missed me, and they're happy to have me home.
I don't know. Maybe I am just being weird right now. But maybe not. It seems to be what regularly happens. I would love to know that there are people I can depend on no matter where on earth I am. It's hard to really make close friends here since I am working apart from the other volunteers most of the time. I enjoy spending time with people here, but it's not the type of friendship where I feel like I can share my heart, and have true closeness.
I'm not one for being around people all the time. If you know me at all, you know that. You know that I like my solitude. But sometimes I just want to sit down and have a long chat with someone about things that really matter. And not feel like I am imposing on their time. Now of course, this would be far better sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee or cocoa or something, But you can't have everything.
Sorry if this is too negative or depressing. I am not trying to guilt people, and I almost didn't even post anything, but when I decided to blog during this trip, I decided I wanted to be honest and open about both the good and the bad. And there's been bad that I haven't shared, so I figured it was about time that I actually was honest about my struggles.
It's hard when every time I leave, people are like, "No!!! Don't leave! I'll miss you so much!", but then when I'm gone, it's as though we never met in the first place. And then I return home, and they talk about how much they missed me, and they're happy to have me home.
I don't know. Maybe I am just being weird right now. But maybe not. It seems to be what regularly happens. I would love to know that there are people I can depend on no matter where on earth I am. It's hard to really make close friends here since I am working apart from the other volunteers most of the time. I enjoy spending time with people here, but it's not the type of friendship where I feel like I can share my heart, and have true closeness.
I'm not one for being around people all the time. If you know me at all, you know that. You know that I like my solitude. But sometimes I just want to sit down and have a long chat with someone about things that really matter. And not feel like I am imposing on their time. Now of course, this would be far better sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee or cocoa or something, But you can't have everything.
Sorry if this is too negative or depressing. I am not trying to guilt people, and I almost didn't even post anything, but when I decided to blog during this trip, I decided I wanted to be honest and open about both the good and the bad. And there's been bad that I haven't shared, so I figured it was about time that I actually was honest about my struggles.
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