Don't Forget the "Normal" Kids

First off, a disclaimer. I do think it is wonderful that there isn't such a stigma attached to having a special needs kid. I'm glad that parents are finally accepting that it is not an awful thing to have a child who is differently abled (this is what they call people with special needs in India. I think it is better than disabled).
However, I have been a little bothered by the recent posts where people are using photoshop and whatnot to turn their differently abled children into superheroes and whatnot. I think it's cool when people do fun stuff like that. But one thing that bugged me about the link that I just posted is the fact that the family has 5 kids. One was born with Down Syndrome, and he is the one who gets the special photos. The other kids are in the photos, but they are doing normal things, such as reading books, or riding bikes and such while their little brother flies above them.
I don't know what this family does with all of their photos. Maybe each of the 5 has a photoshopped album where they are doing cool stuff that they couldn't do in real life. But often, people who are doing this stuff say that they do it to inspire their special needs child, and remind them that they are amazing. But shouldn't all of your kids feel like they are amazing? Shouldn't all of them have something to inspire them when they face hard times in life? Because, special needs or not, we all have sucky days.
I get the feeling sometimes that we are trying to hard to be PC and be sure that no one thinks that we look down on special needs kids, or make sure that no one thinks we're racist, agist, sizeist, etc., that we go too far the other way. Have you ever noticed someone trying so hard to not be racist that they come across as pretty much the most racist person you've ever met? We often get that whenever people are afraid that they will belittle a certain people group. But then it ends up lessening the importance of everyone else.
I have often seen families who have a special needs child, and the other children, because they don't need as much extra assistance, end up being left to fend for themselves. It isn't that the parents don't love them, it's just that they don't think they need as much, and there isn't enough time left over after caring for the one child who needs more.
By all means, make your special needs child feel special. But make sure that all of your children feel special. Do a special photo shoot with the other kids, or take them swimming or horseback riding. Especially if they see a sibling doing those things every week for therapy. Kids don't necessarily understand that things like riding and swimming are necessary. They just see that one kid in the family gets to do it. I understand that it could get expensive to take everyone swimming or riding every week, but see if you can at least do it occasionally. Or take up another hobby with them. Scrapbooking, or hiking. Something that gives them a special time making memories with you. 

Dangerous Animals

Apparently I need to not try to write on a subject that upsets me when Cosette is nearby, because it is challenging to type when she is climbing in my lap and licking my face in an attempt to comfort me. Goofy dog. She's laying down next to Marius now, but keeps looking at me to be sure that I am ok.

I was listening to some TED talks, and came across one about the "Vicktory dogs", the survivors of Michael Vick's fighting kennel. They were talking about how the dogs were so incredibly able to be rehabbed even though people didn't want to give them a chance at all in the first place. Even animal rescuer who thought the dogs should be removed from the kennel wanted them all destroyed without a chance. There were only a few people who tried to get the dogs a chance, and fortunately, the judge who was on the case was a good person. It often happens in those cases that the dogs are destroyed simply because they're pit bulls who have been involved in fighting.

Then I started to wonder what happened with Michael Vick. What sort of a punishment did he get for this dog-fighting mess? The answer I found? Practically nothing. He was given a 3-year prison sentence suspended on a condition of good behaviour, and a $2,500 fine. What the crap...
Personally, I think that if people want to claim that the dogs should be destroyed, Vick should be destroyed as well. He deliberately chose to force the dogs to fight and to kill the dogs which failed. He personally murdered several dogs in that kennel. All that the dogs did was what they were trained to do. They really had no option. Obviously, as they would be killed if they didn't fight. They had no choice in what they did. The humans did. The humans should be the ones to be destroyed. They talk about fighting dogs being broken beyond repair, but I think those who are broken are those forcing them into such situations.
Albert Schweitzer said, "Anyone who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives." It looks like Michael Vick was well on his way to that, and it doesn't really appear that he did anything to really change his thinking. He claims that he paid his debt to society, and his past should be ignored now, but he needs serious mental help. Or to be shot. Either way is fine with me. But he definitely shouldn't be making 5 million a year playing football. He should at least be in jail, paying off his debt to society the old fashioned way, like Jean Valjean did. Though, he's not even fit to polish Valjean's shoes. But that is a different subject...

Life Without Regrets

It has been a year since my Uncle died. I still expect to walk into the house and see him there at the table. I still catch myself starting to ask Cody (my Aunt and Uncle's dog) if he's gonna go for a ride with his Dad while his Mom and I are out. It's weird how your brain won't let go of things like that. Especially the good things. You expect everything to stay the same. And especially, because I was in India and missed the funeral, it was extra strange to get home and go to Neita and Darrell's (I hope I spelled that right, since Neita just told me yesterday how to spell it), and Darrell wasn't there.
I wonder at times like this, what I would have done differently the last time I saw the person if I knew it was the last time. I don't know for sure even what the last time was that I saw Darrell. Probably some family thing around Christmas. I am sure we chatted some and laughed and interacted pleasantly. As we did whenever we saw each other. I don't know that I would have done anything different. I feel like making a big to-do would have made us both super awkward. I would have just acted the same as normal, and enjoyed the time we had together.
It has been close to 3 years now since I saw my brother. I think the last time, we went out for supper. I don't have fond memories of that last time. I don't think we fought, but it wasn't real enjoyable. I may have given him a hug before he left, I don't remember. But even from that time, I don't have regrets. The way things turned out were his choice, and I did what I could to try to keep the relationship going.
I have much better memories from the last time I saw Darrell, and to be honest, I miss him more. I smile when I remember him whereas I mostly don't bother remembering Steve.
Do all that you can to make it so that, if this ends up being your last time seeing someone, you can be happy about the last time you saw them. That doesn't mean that things will end up being perfect. Sometimes the other person will end up ending the relationship no matter what you do. But if you have no regrets, you know that you've done all that you can do.
A lot of people agonize about their last words to people they love. I think it's a lot more meaningful though if you treat them like you love them every time you're together. Don't wait to do something meaningful when someone is on their deathbed. There may not be a deathbed, and you may not have realized it was your last time.
If you love someone, let them know. In some cases, it may be weird to actually say, "I love you." Maybe you should still say it. It's up to you and your situation. If you think you should, do it. But really, actions speak louder than words. I've had people tell me that they love me, and I know it's a load of crap. And I've had people that I don't think have ever said that they love me, but I know that they do. Say it, show it, whatever. Just make it clear that you love them.

A picture that Neita just shared on her fb page of her and Darrell :~)