Which, as we all know, means 'to bluff'

Recently, I saw a debate on facebook about whether true love is reality or not. Do Fairy tales and Disney movies exist to show us that true love is real, or to show us how foolish the notion is?
I frequently tell my Mom that true love does not exist. This usually happens when I have an experience where love hurts, or a thought that reminds me that love isn't always easy. But that is certainly not true. True love does exist, and as Christians, we should know this better than anyone. After all, we were recipients of the truest love that ever existed.
But does true romantic love, or true love for another person, exist? I would definitely say yes. And it is beautiful.
True love does not mean you will have a perfect life. My parents are the couple I've seen that demonstrates true love the best. And because they're humans, they're not perfect. They argue, they get mad at each other, but at the end of the day, they are madly in love, and that is what matters.
And that is what true love is. It's when you aren't going to throw away a relationship just because you've been hurt. It's when you are willing to make the other person happy, before you make yourself happy. It's even little things; thoughtful things like going somewhere you don't want to go, because it will make him happy; reading a book you don't care about, because it is special to her, and she wants you to understand why. It's ignoring what you selfishly want, and doing something selfless instead.
True love takes work, and it is not perfect. Even if you look at Disney movies, things aren't perfect. Eric leaves Ariel for another woman just because she has a nice voice; the Beast struggles with temper issues, and then he's killed; the Prince forgets what Cinderella looks like, and has to put a shoe on every woman in the kingdom in order to find her. But when all is said and done, true love wins out over any obstacles that are set in its way.
Now, I know that fairy tales aren't real. You aren't going to marry a mermaid, or a man that was transformed into a beast. But that does not mean that the love is fake. One of the biggest things about fairy tales is that the characters don't give up just because things are rough. So often, when people "fall out of love", it is because they are not willing to make an effort. They become selfish, and making the object of their love happy stops being something that brings them joy. When I love someone, making them happy brings joy to me too. I can spend an entire day doing something I really couldn't care less about, but if it's something that brings a smile to that person's face, I enjoy it. And that is true love. 

Sun dog

Ok...maybe this is sacrilegious, but it is something I was thinking about today. See, I was out taking pictures (what a shock, I know.), and I saw a sun dog (one of those rainbows that show up by the sun sometimes), and I got to thinking about them. They remind me of lights that I used to make with a prism that we had. I would hold the prism in the sunlight, and shine little rainbow patches around the floor. And it made me wonder if that is sort of what God does.
Don't get me wrong. I know that God could just think it, and a sun dog would appear. But is that how it works all the time? Or does God take joy in creating something with his hands? I love to create, and I think I would get thoroughly bored if all I did all day was think about what I wanted to create and it appeared. Where is the fun in that? I was made in God's image, so perhaps he feels that way too.
Maybe I am totally wrong. Maybe he really does just think about things, and they appear, and he takes pleasure from that. I don't know. I can't put God in a box of what he would enjoy doing just because that's what I like. But the Bible does talk about God forming us, whereas he merely spoke other parts of creation into existence. He didn't have to do that. It's not like we're this unimaginably incredible creation that he was incapable of speaking into being. That's just how he chose to make us.
So is it really that unimaginable that he might do that in other cases? I don't think so. He made us to enjoy working and creating with our hands, so I feel like it makes sense that he would too. I guess I won't know for sure about this while I am on earth. But everything that I see, all this beauty, is in place to please God. I am so blessed, no matter how it has come to be, that he has given me a chance to share in it with him. 

Retreat!

This is the message I did for Crave 10/10/12. I never use message notes, I write my entire message out. So here it is. Thought I would share it.

During this series, we’re talking about illusions; lies that Satan tells us, that maybe don’t sound like such terrible things, but are designed to throw our lives out of whack. It’s like this series’ theme verse says, 2 Corinthians 11:14 “And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.” The lies that he tells us are lies that we can accept as being useful. You know, we’re not doing anything that bad. But they’re still lies. And as such, we need to fight against them as much as we do his blatant lies, like when he tells us we are worthless and sin is ok and whatnot.

This week actually has to do with our fall retreat that’s coming up. A couple of years ago, we had a debate about whether we should keep calling them retreats, or change to a different name. Because retreating makes one think of running away, and losing the battle. Not something we want to do. So the lie is that if you need a retreat, you are losing.

See, we are in a battle. Every day, we are fighting against our enemy. And if we go by what the average person would say, retreat would be the ultimate shame for any warrior. We would have the same opinion that Spartan women had when they sent their husbands and sons to battle. They would say, “Come back carrying your shield, or lying on it.” See, they knew that there was no way a man could carry his huge shield while running away from battle. They knew if he came home carrying his shield, he made it through the battle, and if he came home lying on it, at least he remained honourable and chose death over retreat.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5   For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

We don’t wage war as the world does, meaning that we do not have to look to the worlds standards as far as retreat goes. Retreat can give us the tools that we need to win the battle.

We are supposed to follow Jesus’ example, and when he was doing God’s work, he often retreated into the wilderness to get away from the crowds that followed him, and to spend time alone with God in prayer.

Mark 6:45-46 And immediately He made His disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side to Bethsaida, while He Himself was sending the multitude away. And after bidding them farewell, he departed to the mountain to pray.

This was immediately after the miracle where Jesus fed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes. You would think that after that, he would be so pumped that he wouldn’t need to step back at all. He would just go with his disciples and celebrate what had happened. But he knew that he needed to depend on God, and step away from everything that was happening, and spend time alone with God. 

I’ll use an example of retreat from somewhat more recent history.

In 1814, the War of 1812 was drawing to a close. The British were intent upon capturing New Orleans and from there, the land gained through the Louisiana Purchase. December 23^rd, the British troops were only 9 miles away from New Orleans, and waited for reinforcements. U.S. troops, determined not to allow the British to sleep on their soil, attacked the resting British army. It looked like the Americans would win, but after 3 hours of fighting in the dark, it became impossible to tell one side from the other, and the Americans were having problems with friendly fire. The Americans retreated to a canal 5 miles away. Through this retreat, the Americans were able to spend time building up their defenses while they waited for the British army to advance. They turned the canal they had retreated to into a heavily fortified earthwork that would be far more difficult for the British to breach, and even though they retreated, they had proven themselves strong enough that the British army was hesitant to cross them again.

Technically, in this fight, the British won. But when one looks across all that happened, the Battle of December 23^rd saved New Orleans. It helped to win the Battle of New Orleans, which was the last major battle of the War of 1812. And the thing is, if Major General Jackson had refused to retreat when he saw that it was the necessary move, the American force could have been decimated, both by enemy bullets and friendly fire, and could have left the way open for the British army to take New Orleans.

In the same way, we need retreats. Now, I am not saying that we should just run from the battle and sit and do nothing. That is definitely not what the American soldiers did. And that’s also not what Jesus did when he went into the mountain. He didn’t just go up there and build a campfire and start making s’mores. He went to the mountain, and he prayed. When you retreat in a spiritual battle, whether by going on a youth retreat, or just stepping back on your own to spend time with God away from the people and things that occupy your time, it is not a passive retreat. It isn’t just time to chill with your friends or take a break from life; it is a chance to passionately pursue God in a place that isn’t so full of distractions. And when you step back from the battle and give God a chance, he will build you up.

Many of the ways that we benefit from retreating are similar to the ways that the American army benefitted from retreating. In the same way that the soldiers were able to regain their strength after the initial fighting, and strengthen their barricades, Isaiah 40:30-31 says Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

It doesn’t say, “Those who go out and fight without ceasing.” It says, “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.” It is when you are waiting on him, trusting in him, that you will truly grow strong.

You also gain a different kind of strength when you go on a retreat with others. Retreating by yourself is a good thing, but when a whole group takes time from their lives to throw themselves on God, you get a chance to get to know people who are fighting alongside of you. Imagine if you were a soldier, and you had no friends going into battle with you. No one to watch your back, no one to help you out if you’re wounded. You would be very vulnerable. You need to know the other soldiers fighting alongside of you. And a retreat is a great way to do that. It’s a perfect venue to begin to talk about what God is doing in your lives, and to encourage one another. And hopefully, that will carry over into your real life, and you will continue to encourage each other when you’re back in the battle.

A retreat, like the name sort of hints at, provides perspective and rest. You are able to look at your situation from a different point, one where you aren’t being fired upon. Imagine how things would look different to a soldier running through the swamps and fields, trying to shoot enemies that he could scarcely see, and trying to avoid being shot himself; as opposed to a soldier in the relative safety of a fortified barricade that was not under attack at all. You will be able to look at your life in a different way, when you’re out of the situations that seem to be bearing down on you.

One of the biggest ways a retreat can impact you though, is to deepen our love for God, and show us the depth of his love for us.

Sometimes, even as Christians, we can feel alone; like I am the only soldier still fighting. And it is easy in these times to get discouraged, and want to give up. But ultimately, our task is not to win the battle, our task is to do what God tells us to do.

2 Chronicles 20:15 He said: "Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the LORD says to you: 'Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's.

Psalm 91:14-16 The Lord say, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honour them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation.”

When we retreat and we rest in God, we can feel the depth of his love for us. Have you ever spent time with someone that you love (a friend, or a parent), and instead of going out and doing something spectacular, you just spend time together? Maybe you watch a movie, or just sit and chat, something low key, that most people would think of as dull. But it was a great time, because the time you spent together reminded you how much you love each other?

This past summer, at camp, during worship one day, I was suddenly overwhelmed by how much God loved me, and rejoiced over me. It was something that I knew, but in the muddle of everyday life, I forgot it. When I stepped back and took the time to focus on God, and rest in his presence, he reminded me how much he cared for me, and how special I was to him.

I know that there can be days where you say, “Does God even actually care about me?” and when you’re swamped with life, it can be tough to remember all that God has done for you, and all that he wants to do for you. When you see how he feels about you, you can know that he truly does want what is best for you. You can look back and see what he has already done in your life, such as sending Jesus to die for you, welcoming you into his family, saving your soul. And then there are more personal things that he has done just for you.

When I take the time to retreat and look at what God has done in my life, I am amazed. There have been so many things in my life that, while I was going through them, I never thought they could turn out good. Times that I have said, “No, I give up. I don’t care what the lesson is that I am supposed to learn, I don’t want to go through this anymore.” But all of these things have come together to put my life where it is, and now I can see God’s hand guiding every bit of it. And that knowledge gives me strength to hold on and get back out there to fight again, knowing that it is well worth it.

One very important thing about retreats is this. Don’t live for retreats. Don’t just float through life, doing the bare minimum, saying, “Oh man, I can’t wait for camp. I need that experience with God again.” If a soldier went through a battle, not really paying attention to what was happening, and kept saying, “Man, I hope the general calls a retreat soon, I want to go sit down.” He’d most likely get shot in the head. You have to be focused on where you are. When you are going through life, know what you’re fighting for, and what God has for you to do. Then pursue it. A retreat isn’t a time to get fired up about God, you should be on fire for him in everything you do. A retreat is a time to get filled up and hear from him more in order to get out and do the next step that he has for you. 

Colour Blind

I went out to the Jane Addams Trail with my dogs today. I wanted to see if the fall colours were bright there, as they are in many other places. I got out of the car and started walking down the trail, and I must confess, I was a little disappointed at first.
My initial thought was that there weren't colours. It didn't look much different than it does in the summer, aside from a few coloured trees here and there. I was a little annoyed that I had driven out there to see a colourless trail. But then I got thinking about it, and started really looking around me. That was when I changed my view of things.
There were colours all around me. I could write paragraphs just about the shades of green that were along the path. Then there were reds and yellows of the trees that were changing colours; pink, yellow, and white in the flowers that still bloom along the path; shades of brown in the trees and the drying corn fields; and so, so much more.
When I finally saw this, my eyes and my mind were dazzled by the beauty and the colours around me. It is amazing what you can see when you stop focusing on what you expect to see. 

Say What You Need to Say

"Say what you need to say." A lot easier said than done (no pun intended). Everyone says you should speak your mind, and especially if you feel something needs to be said, you should say it. But what about when everything you say backfires? What about when you say things in the kindest way you possibly can; editing, planning, doubly-checking, praying about it, and even having someone else read it over to check for content, but it still backfires, and you end up in even more trouble after you say it?
What do you do then? Can you stop saying what you need to say? Can you bite your tongue and decide that saying what you feel you should say isn't important? And maybe sometimes it isn't. Maybe sometimes peace is more important than getting something off your chest. Though not everything that you need to say is just getting something off of your chest. Perhaps it is a case where you feel that by not saying something, you are doing wrong. And that's rough, because you know that in doing what you need to do, you're going to risk being hurt by the backlash. 
James 4:17 says: Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. 
If you feel that you are supposed to say something, whether it is calling someone out about something in their life, or trying to restore a relationship that needs some tough love, or whatever else you might need to say, if you don't do it, you are sinning. Every time that we obey God, we risk being hurt. But every time that we ignore what we are meant to do, we are hurting ourselves even worse. 
So say what you need to say. I would rather be called out by someone who is listening to God and is calling me out because they care about me, than to find out in a few years that I was totally messing up and no one said anything. Hopefully you'll mostly come across people who feel the same way. But if you're speaking out of love, ultimately, you are doing the right thing. 

Rejoice

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.

Hebrews 13:5  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Why, if the 2nd verse is true, are there still little girls trapped in brothels, dying of AIDS, and beyond that, being killed day after day and moment after moment on the inside? Girls who see an escape only in death? Girls who will die, not knowing that there is someone who loves them and wants to give to them, rather than using them just for their own own selfish purposes?
I love the fact that girls are being rescued, but it is such a small fraction of the girls who will be saved before it is too late. Girls who don't know what it is to be hugged by someone who simply and truly loves them. It's so much more appealing to hide my head in the sand and pretend none of this exists. It would be easier to stay in IL, working with students who are mostly just dealing with drama. Yeah, sometimes there are serious issues that have to be worked through, but mostly it's easier than admitting the horrors that are so prevalent in this world. 
Because when I accept that this is reality, I don't know how to keep my heart from shattering into a million pieces. How do I even deserve to be happy, knowing that this is happening? And not only human trafficking, but also all of the other horrors in the world; abortion, abuse, hatred, racism, so many things that have been thrown at us in a massive attack designed to destroy our hearts. Because once a heart is crushed, you lose motivation to continue on. This is likely why we are told to rejoice in the Lord always. How will your heart be filled with sorrow if it is rejoicing always?

The Dirty Side of Christianity

The past week, I was in New Orleans. It was probably the best in-country mission trip of my life. Really, the only thing that would have made it better would have been to make it longer. 

I love experiences like camp and other retreats, where you spend the week going to services, and learning about God, and simply basking in his presence. But that's not enough. That is the clean, safe side of Christianity. It may be a little outside of your comfort zone, but it is still safe and controlled. 

Christianity though, is not meant to be safe and clean all the time.

September 23rd, we headed down to Arabi, LA. This in itself was quite out of my comfort zone. I had been told that Operation Blessing only accepted teams of 2 or more to come volunteer. That was almost enough to make me give up once I realized that I didn't know anyone who would be willing to travel to LA with me, especially to work. So I asked someone I barely knew, knowing that he was self-employed, and perhaps could go. And he agreed. So there we were, getting ready to drive 17 hours together. It was a bit outside of my comfort zone. 

We got to Louisiana at about 9:30 in the morning, after driving through the night. We were sent straight to our job site. We had no idea what we would be doing; maybe gutting, or building, or pulling nails, or painting. We were gutting, we soon found. We were tearing all of the sheetrock and flooring out of the house. And everything was covered with mold. We had moldy water dripping on our heads from the insulation in the ceiling. We were dripping sweat, and covered with drywall dust and mold. I tried wearing a mask to keep from inhaling dust, but found I couldn't breathe. Between the heat and humidity, and dehydration, I had a number of times where I started to black out. 

I began questioning why I was there. Why would I drive so far to make myself totally miserable? What I doing anything? I had to really do a bit of an attitude check, and not allow the lies to get in and tell me that I was worthless. I wasn't just there to be an extra body. I was there because it was what God called me to do. It was the dirty side of Christianity; the side that is usually a bit less attractive. But it is just as important as the clean, attractive side. 

You can't just go and fill yourself with God and do nothing else. You have to fill yourself with God and pour into other people. God changes your life in order to help you change other's lives. 

After my little attitude adjustment, I made a point of looking beyond any negative to see what God had for us. And partway through the week, I had a moment where God really drove it home why I was there. 

We were gutting a house where the owner was still living. He was so overwhelmed by everything. He was in his 60s, and single, and didn't know where to start, so he was just waiting to figure it out. The house really didn't look so bad. We drove about an hour away from where we were staying, and when we walked in, Luke and I were both looking around, trying to figure out why we were there. It didn't even look like there was damage. But when we started tearing out walls and pulling up tiles, we found so much mold. The owner was breathing it in every moment that he stayed there. 

As he looked around his house, he said to us, "God sent you here to save my life. I didn't know what to do, and breathing in that mold would have killed me. God sent you, and I thank you."

And that was why we were there. I was gross and sweaty and I smelled like mold and tile glue. It was not a pretty thing. But it was the task God had for me to do. I knew then that this was why God had been calling me so strongly to go to LA. I am so thankful that I listened. The trip was incredible in so many ways. And it was fun. It is amazing how much fun work like that can be when you have the proper motivation.