The Movie Experience

I was struck by the wording in an ad for Blu-ray discs the other day. They talked about the fact that you get a dvd along with your blu-ray disc, so that you can “Share the movie experience with your family on the go.” What movie experience? How did we get to the point that the experiences a family has together are movie experiences, where truly, you are not experiencing anything together. Except sitting in front of a screen, watching the creation of someone else’s imagination.

Not that I am saying watching movies is bad. I watch movies frequently, and am in fact watching one as I type this. But I do not consider it an experience. It’s something to watch while I am typing, or doing something else with my hands. It is an amusement, and nothing more. If I want to have an experience with my family or friends, I will turn off the tv, and do something else. The only time I really consider watching a movie an experience is when no one cares if we talk through it. Like a few weeks ago, I watched The Hobbit with a couple of friends. One fell asleep a short way into it, while the other and I talked pretty much the entire movie. We discussed the philosophy of Tolkien, talked about his other books, and I think we even talked about who was attractive and who was not in the movie (In spite of the fact that the friend was a guy, and we were pretty much only talking about attractive guys…). I would call that a movie watching experience. A time where the movie takes a backseat to the relationships of the people watching, whether it is family, or friends.

I remember one time going to a movie with just my Dad and my sister. There were maybe 2 other people in the theatre, and they were sitting all the way at the back, so we were able to talk as much as we wanted. Which, for my Dad, was a lot of talking :~) I don’t even really remember what the movie was. I know it was a Harry Potter movie, but that’s only because I know the only movie the 3 of us have gone to together without Mom was Harry Potter, because she just didn’t care.

Or the time that my family went to see Prince Caspian without me. I think I was in India. And I was a little bummed. But when I got home, it was still in the dollar theatre. So Dad and I got on the motorcycle, and went to see it. I remember that I had to take my helmet into the theatre, even though he left his outside, because mine was nicer, and we were in a sketch part of town, and he didn’t want it stolen. Mine was also actually Mom’s new helmet. We talked during the movie again. That just sort of happens when you go to movies with my Dad. He’s not much for being quiet during movies, even in a theatre. We talked about how cool it would be to race a Friesian through a series of streams the way that Caspian did at the beginning. I’m sure we talked about other stuff too, but that’s the main thing I remember.

I hate being with people who freak out if you speak during a movie. I was recently watching a movie with a friend, and every once in a while, he would just stop the movie (I’d not seen it before, and he didn’t want me to miss important parts), and ask me what I thought of a certain part, or just to make a comment about it. Sometimes, if it was a slow part, he’d just talk over the movie.

Anyway, I am sort of rambling about “movie experiences”. All this to say though, I don’t really remember the movies I’ve watched half the time. Most of the movies I’ve mentioned, I remember details because they were also books that I have read. But movies to me are entertainment. Usually something to do as I am doing something else (typing, knitting, reading, etc). The movie experiences that mean a lot to me are the experiences that help me in some way to grow closer to the people I care about. And that definitely doesn’t include sitting for a couple of hours ignoring each other. If that happens, I usually fall asleep. 

Endless Possibilities.

"Endless possibilities..." 

I used to use this phrase a lot when I was dating. My bf would ask me what we should do, whether that particular day, or in the future. I would throw out a few ideas, then say that there were endless possibilities. Especially when we talked about the future. There was so much that could be done. And I definitely meant it.

Eventually though, endless possibilities devolved into watching a movie and snuggling on the couch, or in his hammock while we talked about the things that we should do. And never did any of them. Not that I was averse to cuddling, but I also wanted to do other things. I didn’t really care if we were doing something worthwhile like helping with an outreach together, or something completely pointless, such as playing tennis or hiking in the woods.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had we taken some of those possibilities. Perhaps we still would have ended up breaking up and not speaking to each other. But it’s a lot easier to end a friendship when you don't ever try any of the possibilities before you.

Endless possibilities don’t always have to be overly spectacular things, but it should mean taking advantage of some of the possibilities.

That’s a phrase I’ve tried to avoid for a while. Brings up memories that I’d just as soon not think of. But lately, I have been thinking about it again. There still are endless possibilities for my life. And I have a decision to make about those endless possibilities.

Any time things don’t work out as I expect, or as I want them to, I get disappointed. I think life is falling apart, and I feel as though I am set adrift for a time. But what I need to realize, and what my mind and heart are starting to grasp, is that when things don’t work out as I plan, that is when there are endless possibilities. And when life is so open like that, I can either lie in a hammock and watch a movie, or I can get up and search out some of those possibilities. Even if it’s something pointless like going on a road trip just for the heck of it, or if it’s doing some sort of mission work that has a bit more of a point, so long as I am doing something that I enjoy, that is not just sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I am taking some of those possibilities. And they are truly endless.  

Fog

It was one of those days. A day so typical of Ooty during the rainy season. A day where you know in your mind that the earth has features, but your eyes tell you that nothing exists aside from a great expanse of grey, which muffles each sound, and seems to slow time.
Standing in the paddock with Hercules, it felt as though the mountains and the tea fields beyond the fence had vanished, melting into the fog. Usually, there are constant sounds from the village below, and from traffic on the road. But there was nothing aside from the sounds that we made. The crunch of gravel beneath our feet, the swish of the rope telling Hercules to speed up, and my own commands to him. Even coming out of my mouth, they seemed muffled and faint. Everything felt close together, and interwoven.
It felt for a time as though the rest of the world was gone, and all that had been left was this tiny island on the side of the mountain, inhabited by myself and one little pony.
After a time, the fog cleared, blown away by the wind, and the world came into being once more. Voices carried up to where Hercules and I worked. I heard the sound of a bus conductor's whistle, and the crowing of roosters. The world had returned. And, while the colours and the view were spectacular as usual, there seemed to be something missing in the enormity of it all.  

Bemused

The dictionary definition of Bemused is “Confused or bewildered”. But I am a Webster, and as such, can make new definitions if I so desire.

My new definition of a bemused expression is as follows, “An expression that says, ‘I’m sure I would be amused if I had any clue what was going on.’”. And I feel like the past couple of weeks, I have had that exact expression on my face quite a lot.

I spent two weeks teaching jewelry making to girls who mostly did not speak any English. There were a few who spoke a bit of English, but not very much. And more just small-talk type English, not the kind that I needed to communicate ideas about jewelry making.

I started out the time not talking a whole lot. I would demonstrate what I wanted them to do, but I was fairly quiet. Then I realized that perhaps if I said what I wanted, some would understand a bit, and some would pick up new words. So I started explaining what I wanted them to do as I demonstrated it.

That seemed to amuse them, and when I finished, a girl would go back to her place, and I would hear some of the words I had used being repeated, and lots of giggling as all of the girls repeated words and looked at me. I often gave a little half smile, not entirely sure what to do. I didn’t want to join in the laughter if everyone was laughing at me, but I didn’t want to just act like a jerk either. That was what I came to think of as my bemused look. I wanted to be amused, and felt like if I could just understand more, I would be amused. Even if they were laughing at me. I wound up getting used to feeling that way. I had two weeks of giving jewelry lessons. It was either get used to it and have fun, or have a total meltdown.

The girls seemed to like it when I responded to their laughter and joking, even though they knew I didn’t understand them anymore than they understood me. And I came to the point where I didn’t really care if they were laughing at me. Their laughter wasn’t mocking, or rude, it was just laughter. The laughter of girls having fun, and amusing themselves while doing their work.

So as they chattered on in Hindi or Kannada, I would answer them in English. We would do that, barely understanding a word the other was saying, but using hand gestures, and sort of playing a game of charades to make ourselves understood. Sometimes we figured out what was being said, and sometimes we finally had to laugh, because neither of us had a clue.

It got to the point where they were so comfortable with me that they would come into my room while I was getting jewelry supplies ready, and just talk away to me. Or sometimes simply hang out in comfortable silence, watching me. It didn't feel like we couldn't communicate at all, it just felt like we were hanging out comfortably.

So yeah, my bemused expression had a good workout during the trainings, but it was a really good time, and I am glad I got the experience.

Rant, Luke, Rant

I was typing an email to my folks earlier, and realized as I looked at it that there are sort of three parts to any email or letter I write to them. There’s the newsy part, where I tell what has been going on, and keep them up to date on my life (though I often accidentally leave out key details and get scolded later), random musings about life in general, issues that I am concerned with, what I need to do to improve myself, relationships, and the world around me, etc., and rants. Bet you didn’t see that third subject coming :~).

I find it totally natural to vent to my parents. It’s been the way our family has worked since I can remember. Not that there’s necessarily anything that bad in my life, but anything that I need to talk about, I know I can talk to them about it.

We used to do that when we were going home from church. Especially once the stuff started that eventually led to us leaving the church. There would be things happening at church, and when we got in the van to go home, we would vent for a while. My Dad didn’t really like it at first. He thought we were just complaining. But Mom told him that we simply needed to get things out, and then we were fine.

And that is so true. Usually, I don’t expect my folks to do anything. I don’t tell them about issues with a friend, hoping that they will go and talk to that friend and sort things out. In fact, I would be furious if they did, and they know that. I’m not going to them to get things fixed, but rather, to just have a listening ear. Or in cases lately, a reading eye. There’s something about having someone sympathetic to listen to you. Even if whatever you’re ranting about really isn’t a big deal in the scheme of things, someone who cares is good to have.

And because I have that in my life, I try to do that for others. To listen to their rants, and genuinely care about what they are talking about, even if there is nothing I can do to help other than listen. Compassion and caring. I think those are two things that are important to everyone. 

A Fond Farewell

Mid-June, Leg Up said goodbye to two of our ponies, Lily and Orion. It was not an easy choice to find new homes for these two, as they have been with Leg Up for most of its existence. But there comes a time when changes have to be made, and this was one of those times.

It was March when these plans began to be discussed. Both of the ponies were having a hard time fitting into Leg Up. We tried everything we could, but some horses are simply not cut out to be therapy horses. And it is not fair to force a horse to do something that they are not good at, and do not enjoy. They will only be miserable, just like a person who has to do something they do not like.

We were not willing though to simply give the two ponies away. Finding a good home for a horse in Ooty is not nearly so easy as finding one in the States. Horses are not treated well in many cases. Even though we could not use the two, we still had to care for them.

Lily was easy to find a home for. Our vet Ilona has a young daughter named Emma, who has been taking riding lessons on Lily, and was very good with her. When we offered Lily to her, she was over the moon. They were also willing to take Orion, though he would not be a riding pony. He would be turned out with their herd of ponies, and basically become a wild pony. It was not ideal for Orion, but it seemed to be our best choice.

Every time Emma saw me, she talked about when Lily would be her pony, and how excited she was about it. She rode Lily for almost every lesson, and could get her to do things the other children could not. It was a perfect match. And Emma is little enough that she will be able to ride Lily for years.

Orion however, concerned me. The closer it got to the time that the ponies would leave, the more concerned I became about Orion. I did not want to see him become a wild pony. It was better than him being on the streets, or belonging to some guy in Ooty who would use him for tourist rides, but we have put so much effort into him over the years. He is our miracle pony, who God kept alive through so much. We have always said that God has a plan for him, and I didn’t see how being a wild pony, roaming around Masinagudi with a wild herd for the rest of his life would be the plan. But what was there to do about it? The ponies would be leaving in less than a week, and there wasn’t anything I could think of. \

Then Mala called, two days before the ponies were to leave. Someone else called, saying they wanted both ponies. We of course could not give Lily to them, but we offered them only Orion, being very clear that he tends to be a bully, and needs consistency in his training, and has reoccurring issues because of his leg. And they still wanted him. They have horse experience, and kids, including one who was part of the dorm that took care of the ponies. He is a very confident, good rider, and will do well with Orion. It was another of those cases where God came through at the last minute, when we had no idea what we could do to change less than ideal circumstances. More proof that God cares about even the smallest thing, and works things together for good.

We have heard from both owners since the ponies went to their new homes. Lily has fallen in love with Emma’s other pony, Polo, and is happy there. She was also having back pain, and the cold and damp in Ooty seemed to exacerbate it. Her new home in Masinagudi does not get nearly so chilly as Ooty, so she should not have problems with it. Orion’s family is thrilled with him. They have been riding him, and he is doing well. His leg, which had just been reinjured when they took him, is healing up, and they are very pleased to have him.

We now have Hercules, Shadow, and Firefly. Who would have thought a couple of years ago that if we only kept one of our ponies, it would be Hercules? But he is doing very well, and, aside from his driving, is even becoming a good children’s riding pony. We are excited about what the future holds for Leg Up, and for Lily and Orion as they start the next part of their lives.