Choosing Loss

I am still trying to figure out why I make the choices that I make. I hate loss. Not losing, like in a competition, but losing those that I love. Whether human or animal. But the choices I make lead to loss. I was especially thinking about the area of owning horses. Those of you who know me know that horses are a huge part of my life. I have owned a few, and worked with many others. And now I am looking for another since Skye died. But then I shake my head and ask why on earth I would even consider getting a new horse.

The personality that horses have, combined with the length of their lives, gives one a chance to truly love them. The social structure of horses resembles that of humans. That is one reason that they are good to use for therapy here. The girls are able to see the way the horses interact, and learn lessons from that. This also makes it easier for a person to closely connect to a horse. Sometimes, when all else fails, and nothing in life makes sense, a good ride, or a long grooming session can help everything to stop whirling out of control. I've heard it said that horses are the best therapists.

Horses are also amazing friends. They are very blunt and honest about their feelings toward you. I hate two-faced people. I can't stand it when I don't know where I stand with someone. But with a horse, if they like you, they whicker at you, they practically climb in your pockets, they show that they like you. And if they don't like you, they run from you and kick you. And horses, especially those who are close to you, can sense your emotions, and respond to those. I have seen aloof horses that are willing to cuddle when their owner is distraught. I have seen hyperactive horses that will behave perfectly with a disabled rider.

So to get back on track, all of these things (and so much more) are what draw me to horses. But it is also what makes it so hard to lose a horse. It is harder to lose a horse than to lose any other kind of animal (to me at least). Yet, every time I decide to get a horse, I am setting myself up for that loss. Even if a horse lives to be really old, they're still only going to be maybe 40 or so. That means that unless something weird happens to me, I will outlive any horse I get. And I will have to go through that loss again. I've experienced it 3 times already with horses that were very dear to me, and it doesn't get any easier.

And yet, I choose that path that leads to loss again. Why? I read this quote in a book recently, "Remember that the price love asks may be high, but there's a dern good reason most people are willing to pay it over and over again. The ones who pay will know what they could've missed." I would rather experience love and lose that which I love than not experience love at all. So I keep choosing that path.