An incredible view on being an introvert. Introverts are not terrible people. If you carry a book to read when you're going to be in a group setting, you are not horrible. You are not anti-social, anti-people, or even shy.
Growing up, no one believed that my sister was the shy one of the two of us. Because once she knew people, she was very extroverted. She was the bubbly, giggly one, who talked all the time and loved attention. Still does, though not to the degree she used to. But I was the one who would strike up conversations with people that she wanted to talk to. People I had no interest in meeting, but I would meet them just so that she would have an "in" to come and join our conversation. Honestly, half the time, even when I was around people I knew, I was just as happy with my nose in a book. I didn't really care if people were talking. I could listen to the conversation and read at the same time, and if there was something interesting happening, I'd set my book down for a minute.
I had a boss recently tell me that I needed to take personal development classes, because I didn't know how to communicate with people. She said I was rude when I came into the office, because I didn't bubble over every time I walked into the room (though when I tried talking to people when I walked in the office, I usually just had blank stares, or people deliberately avoiding my greeting...). She finally said that I did not have any people skills. I was also told that I didn't know how to communicate, because I preferred written communication to verbal. I would email or text about things that were happening rather than making a phone call or setting up a meeting (the latter partly due to schedule conflicts). I was told that she knew it was my communication style, but it was not hers, so I needed to change my style.
Too often, that's the way it works. Introverts are told that they need to change because others are not comfortable with the way they communicate or act. So then we have to live in a way that we are uncomfortable with.
After this lecture about how I needed to pretty well change my whole personality, I talked to a friend about it. I was questioning if I really was that bad of a person. And she told me that she disagreed. She thought my people skills were good, but figured that they probably depended upon who I was around. She was one of the first people outside of my family to really understand my introversion. It's a case of being strained by social interaction, especially if it is negative. When I am around people who stress me out, I am drained. All I have the energy for is basic cordiality. When I am around people who are uplifting, I don't need so much alone time. I'm filled by being with them instead of being drained.
Introverted people should not be made to feel that they are terrible humans who need to change who they are in order to be good people. There will be some cases, be it work or simply life in general, where you will have to step out of your comfort zone and do something that is draining to you. We have to accommodate others in the way that we would love for them to accommodate us. Too much introversion and too much extroversion are both dangerous things. Like Mrs Cain said, there needs to be a balance between introverts and extroverts. Not only in the world, but within each person. When we allow introversion to keep us from doing the things we know we are supposed to do, we're selling ourselves short. Sometimes it is hard for introverts to do something extroverted (or at least less introverted), because we know the reactions we will get. People will be shocked and will make a big deal of it, something that introverts of course hate. But don't let that stop you. The world needs introverts, so don't let someone tell you that you need to change just because you don't fit their comfort zone. Be who you are meant to be.
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