Bury the Dead

There are two churches in Ooty that are “must see” churches. You’re supposed to check out the churches, and their cemeteries. Since this last time in Ooty was my 4th time there, and I would be leaving in about a week, I decided to go and check them out.

Why is it that we spend so much time and money making a beautiful place for, as one grave put it, “the earthly tenement” of those we love? Is it a last gift to one we’ll not see again on this earth? An apology for the wrongs we have done? Trying to make up for those times that we did not do what we should have? As an outlet for our grief, less destructive than lashing out?

So many of these graves were for children, or the “beloved wife” who had died quite young. What were those left behind thinking? Many of the were the wives or children of British military officers who had been stationed in India. What did they think of the fact that their young families died so early, probably due a lot to being in India. Did they regret their military careers, or did they accept their families as military casualties? Are the fancy tombs an attempt to make up for bringing them to their deaths? Was there fear that when the last member of the family died, they would all be forgotten?

I’ve always said that I would prefer to have my body chucked out in the woods for bears to eat (or panthers or raccoons...you know, I’m not picky, whatever wildlife is around when I die is fine by me.). I don’t want my death to cause huge hassles for the people I love.

I’ve been told that if I die in another country, my family will pay to have my body brought home. Closure and all of that. I suppose it’s nice in a way, but I also think it’s a bit silly. It’s a body. I don’t care what happens to it. I’d rather the money go to a charity or a ministry that I believe in than to have it go toward a nice casket and a burial for me. I don’t even care what is written on the tombstone, or what is said about me after I die. If I don’t have people who care about me enough to say nice things before I die, it doesn’t really matter what they say when I am gone.

And that’s how I want it to be with the people in my life. I don’t want to wait til after they’re dead to say good things about them, or to have to write loving words on their tombstone because I feel guilty for not saying it in real life.