Alone, yet not alone am I

I’m in the homesick period of my trip. Luckily for me, I tend to be homesick for roughly the 1^st 2 weeks of my trip, and then I am fine. I still miss home, but it’s not really what I would call homesickness. It’s more of a dull ache. Like when you strain a muscle, and the pain doesn’t keep you from doing anything, but you feel it there constantly. That’s about how my loneliness feels.

I think things are compounded by the fact that when I left, I was still trying to resign myself to the fact that Skye is gone. Skye is my horse that died less than a week before I left home for anyone that doesn’t know. Usually, I can lessen the amount that the loneliness bothers me by saying, ‘eh, it won’t be that long til I see them again.’ But with Skye, that is not the case. He won’t be there when I get home. And I really didn’t have the time to get my mind used to that fact before I left. Which makes it a lot harder. Some part of me is still going to expect him to be there when I get home.

I’m really enjoying my time here in Mumbai, and I am looking forward to getting to Ooty, but I am also hoping that my homesickness goes away quickly like it often does. People seem to think that I don’t miss anyone or anything while I am gone. I am having adventures, so who cares about people? But that is not the case. It’s actually fairly hard for me to leave. I go because I love to travel, and I know that it is what I am supposed to be doing, but it’s not just all easy.

But I know I am not alone. No matter where I am, God is with me. I sometimes have to remind myself of that when I have those moments where I feel like I am surrounded, but at the same time, I am totally alone. There are people all around me, but no one who actually knows me, or truly cares. But the one who is always with me, knows me more deeply than anyone else ever could, and he cares about me more truly than anyone ever has or will. And while it would be nice to have a physical person who could travel with me, I have the one that I really need already with me.