I was laying awake last night, with a Christmas song stuck in my head. It was a version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Don’t remember who it is by, but my main memories of this song are from when we played it during the Christmas season at the Crossroads Polo Campus.
It was so much fun. It was one of those whole family songs. Dad was doing tech, Carla and Mom were on keys and singing, Steve was on guitar and singing, and I was on bass and singing. It was one of those cases where it was either going to go as we planned, and be spectacular, or it was going to completely bomb. It was a fairly complicated song, with interesting piano pieces, and even a bit of Carol of the Bells thrown in, just to make things more complicated.
We finished the song, and it was amazing! Everything meshed together the way it was supposed to. It was one of those songs where, as you finish, you feel this sense of elation, because it was so good, better than we expected it to
be.
Pretty sure that was the last Christmas we played music together. And the last Christmas that we were together as a family. Well, the last Christmas we were together as the 5 of us who are supposed to be together. We are still most definitely a family, it’s now just that it is the 4 of us, not the 5 of us.
Sometimes memories suck. Feelings and emotions suck. I love Christmas music, I really do. But I hate these feelings that it brings sometimes, those moments where I think, “Man, we should do that song for church.”, and I remember that we won’t do it. At least we won’t all do it. Because Steve isn’t part of our family anymore. He’s made that choice, and I think he’s the one the least affected by it. And I don’t like that it changes my feelings about Christmas music.
But feelings and emotions are what make me love Christmas music in the first place. The feelings I get when I hear or sing Christmas music. Without feelings, there would be no reason for me to like Christmas music. It would be noise, plain and simple, like any other noise without emotions. I would far sooner keep the bad emotions than lose the good.
It was so much fun. It was one of those whole family songs. Dad was doing tech, Carla and Mom were on keys and singing, Steve was on guitar and singing, and I was on bass and singing. It was one of those cases where it was either going to go as we planned, and be spectacular, or it was going to completely bomb. It was a fairly complicated song, with interesting piano pieces, and even a bit of Carol of the Bells thrown in, just to make things more complicated.
We finished the song, and it was amazing! Everything meshed together the way it was supposed to. It was one of those songs where, as you finish, you feel this sense of elation, because it was so good, better than we expected it to
be.
Pretty sure that was the last Christmas we played music together. And the last Christmas that we were together as a family. Well, the last Christmas we were together as the 5 of us who are supposed to be together. We are still most definitely a family, it’s now just that it is the 4 of us, not the 5 of us.
Sometimes memories suck. Feelings and emotions suck. I love Christmas music, I really do. But I hate these feelings that it brings sometimes, those moments where I think, “Man, we should do that song for church.”, and I remember that we won’t do it. At least we won’t all do it. Because Steve isn’t part of our family anymore. He’s made that choice, and I think he’s the one the least affected by it. And I don’t like that it changes my feelings about Christmas music.
But feelings and emotions are what make me love Christmas music in the first place. The feelings I get when I hear or sing Christmas music. Without feelings, there would be no reason for me to like Christmas music. It would be noise, plain and simple, like any other noise without emotions. I would far sooner keep the bad emotions than lose the good.
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