Today I woke, and the sun was shining. But my eyes were sore from crying. Early this morning, or late last night, I got the news that my sweet pony Gram was doing very badly. Mom didn't really expect her to last another day. And that was the reason for the blog about her. It was not a good phone call at all, and involved a lot of tears and asking why. Of course, there's no answer to that. I don't know why she is dying when I am about ready to go home, and when I am actually trapped here. She is one of my biggest reasons that I want to return to IL.
Today was peaceful. I realize I am saying that word a lot, but it is true. And peace is what I have been needing lately. So this has all been perfect. The time I spent talking with Kathy helped me to refocus my chaotic thoughts. And as we discussed the weather and all that has happened, we were able to pull a lot of life lessons/illustrations from it. It was not as though we were trying to, it just happened naturally. I haven't been around someone like that in quite a while, and it was refreshing to my heart. I had told Mom that part of the reason I wanted to leave the farm was because it made my soul hurt. But even with how sad I am about Gram, these couple of days have been very healing.
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