There's this boy that I miss more than you know. I could be coy right now, and not say who it is. I could let you guess and try to figure it out. Perhaps you would think it was an ex, or a childhood friend. Who knows what you would think. So I'll just tell you from the start (or close to the start).
It's my brother. This boy that I miss so much is the boy that I've known the longest. I'm not going to get all mushy and say we've been best friends for our whole lives. We've fought a lot, and there have been times I've been ready to disown him. But at the end of the day, he is my brother, and I've always known that we loved each other, and I knew that he would be there for me.
But now that's not true. Oh, I still love him, I still hope to be friends with him. But I've very nearly given up on that. Lately, he's pretty much not speaking to me anymore. I really fought for our friendship for a while, and that usually ended poorly, with him getting mad at me, or me getting upset because he ignored me. So I gave up.
It's not that I don't care. Honestly, I would say it's because I care too much, and it wasn't really healthy. I ended up far too involved, and invested. Not that I think it's wrong to be involved with family, but at some points, there comes a time when you have to let go.
So I am letting go. I am trusting God to work things out according to his plan. I am not going to keep trying to force life into my little box. The circumstances that I hate and don't understand right now are all in his plans, and one day, I will see a reason for everything.
It's my brother. This boy that I miss so much is the boy that I've known the longest. I'm not going to get all mushy and say we've been best friends for our whole lives. We've fought a lot, and there have been times I've been ready to disown him. But at the end of the day, he is my brother, and I've always known that we loved each other, and I knew that he would be there for me.
But now that's not true. Oh, I still love him, I still hope to be friends with him. But I've very nearly given up on that. Lately, he's pretty much not speaking to me anymore. I really fought for our friendship for a while, and that usually ended poorly, with him getting mad at me, or me getting upset because he ignored me. So I gave up.
It's not that I don't care. Honestly, I would say it's because I care too much, and it wasn't really healthy. I ended up far too involved, and invested. Not that I think it's wrong to be involved with family, but at some points, there comes a time when you have to let go.
So I am letting go. I am trusting God to work things out according to his plan. I am not going to keep trying to force life into my little box. The circumstances that I hate and don't understand right now are all in his plans, and one day, I will see a reason for everything.
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