I must say, I desire to be a strong woman. But I am not in any way a feminist, and I'm actually not too fond of them at all. I think that they are messing with the way that things are supposed to be. Men are supposed to be the head of their family. Men are supposed to be spiritual leaders. Women should let men lead, and should let men help them. Women should give men the chance to be chivalrous, instead of yelling at them, or mocking them when they try to be gentlemen. Our culture has gone so downhill, because men get their heads bitten off every time that they try to help a woman with anything.
But there is a difference between being a feminist, and being a strong woman. I have been reading the Bible with a specific focus on the way women are spoken about. I don't know why I have that focus. It might be something that God is bringing to my attention at this point; I'm not sure. But there are four main types of women that are talked about.
The women in the Bible that make me sad are the women that are basically looked at as pointless. Not by God; no one is seen as pointless by God, but their families didn't care about them. Some that are in this category are the Levite's concubine, and his host's daughter in Judges 19, and Lot's daughters in Genesis 19. In both of these cases, the men of the city they were in, came to rape the male guests at the house. And to save the men, the virgin girls were offered in exchange, for the mob to do with them as they pleased. The Bible doesn't say what happens to the host's daughter, and Lot's daughters ended up not being sent out, but the concubine was given to the men, who raped her all night, and she ended up dying.
How terrible would it be, to be betrayed by the person who is supposed to be protecting you? Whether your Father or husband (concubines were wives, they just didn't have the legal status), if they gave, or even offered to give you to a group of men so that they could rape you, that would be absolutely terrifying and horrible. You would have no one to turn to then. And these men made it clear that the women were not worth anything to them.
The 2nd group is not a huge group as far as biblical characters go. In my opinion, Jezebel is the epitome of a feminist. Her husband Ahab was the King, but it looks like she pretty well ruled the roost. She told him what to do, and he followed it. It didn't help matters that she was married to a weak man. But look how that turned out. They were enemies of God. Jezebel ended up being pushed out of a window, and her body was eaten by dogs.
Then there are girls who were very important to their families, although not necessarily that strong. Jacob's daughter Dinah in Genesis 34 is one of those. Her brothers were willing to start a war to defend her honour. And Jephthah's daughter, in Judges 11 is another. Jephthah made the vow that whatever came out first to greet him when he returned from war, would be given to God. Then, when it was his daughter, he was devastated. He did not say, "Eh, it's a girl. At least it wasn't anything important." When he saw that she was the first one to come out of his house, he tore his clothes in regret. He did as he had promised the Lord he would do, but it troubled him greatly to do so.
These women had worth to their family, and their families showed that. Even in a culture where daughters weren't that important, they were.
And the last group is the women that I want to be like. These are the women who were stronger than most people could be. They knew what they were supposed to do, and they did it. Yeah, they hesitated at times, or they questioned, but they did it anyway. And, something that I think is important even for strong women right now, they submitted to the men in their lives, and admitted that they needed those men.
My favourite woman in the Bible would have to be Ruth. For all Ruth knew, she could have been throwing away any chance at having a family, and having a "good" life when she followed Naomi. For all she knew, perhaps no Israelite man would want to marry a Moabitess. Ruth's sons did, but that was when they were in a foreign land, and had no Israelite women to choose from. Ruth was leaving everything that she had known her whole life (except for Naomi), and going to a land she did not know, to live among people she did not know. But she went anyway. She told Naomi that she would follow her, and nothing but death would part them. And she meant it. Ruth followed Naomi's directions when they arrived in Bethlehem. She went out to the fields to glean behind the harvesters. They were doing alright. They had food, they had each other, and they had God. But Ruth needed a husband. So she followed Naomi's directions in seeking out Boaz and asking him to take his role as their kinsman redeemer. And the thing about this is that after she approached Boaz and told him what she wanted him to do, she left it up to him. She did not try to work things out on her own, instead, trusting Boaz to do what needed to be done.
How would things have worked out if Ruth said, "No, I am going to do what I want to do with my life, and I am not going to take anyone's advice. I'm certainly not going to trust some guy I don't even know."? Probably nothing. If she was not a strong, godly woman, she would not have caught Boaz's attention. And even if she did, she would have ruined things by going to the men at the gate to tell them to let Boaz be her Kinsman redeemer. They would likely have sent her away, and ignored her request. Ruth was strong when she needed to be, and trusted people when she could not be the strong one. This is true strength; to be able to let go of control and let someone else handle things, or let someone else give you directions. I'm not saying to be lazy. Laziness is not strength. But stepping back when someone else can do things better than you can, and being honest enough to say that you need someone else, is strength.
Esther is another strong woman in the Bible. She had her Uncle Mordecai who was to her like Naomi was to Ruth. Mordecai was the one who taught Esther, the one who raised her to be the woman that she was. And she followed his directions, even though it seemed like they would cause her death. There were times that she sort of questioned, saying that if she went to the King, she could be killed, but she did it anyway.
And the major thing that Esther did before going to the King, was that she fasted and prayed, and called others to fast and pray with her. She showed her dependence on God through this. It was not all about her, and how amazing she was because she was the King. Through the whole thing, she remained very humble, and showed respect. Esther's demeanor the entire time that she dealt with the problem of Haman was that of a Proverbs 31 woman. And through that, she earned the favour of the King; something she probably would not have done had she stormed in and demanded that he listen to her. It takes a very strong woman to keep those traits even through trials.
I was listening to a political debate a while ago, and one of the candidates said this, "This country has a trust deficit." This is so true. Our country is full of people who do not know how to trust. It takes a strong woman to trust in spite of being hurt. And it takes a strong woman to truly be trustworthy. Are you a woman that anyone can come to, knowing that you will not judge or share confidences? Do you trust? Are you able to really talk to people, and accept their help as well? If not, maybe it's something that should be worked on. I know it's something that I am working on. And for men (if any read this the whole way through...) are you being the kind of man who draws that out of the women in your life? A woman should be strong no matter what her circumstances are, but there is something about a man who encourages a woman to be strong that makes her desire strength, and want to rise to those expectations.
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