I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Just some fiction stuff that I am playing around with. Maybe one day I'll get it published, we'll see. I'd love to, but who knows.
Anyway, while working on one of the stories, one of the characters died. Now, it seems like a writer shouldn't be too bothered when a character dies. I mean, I've written the story. I've created the characters, and I've decided when and how they should die. It isn't like I'm reading someone else's book (or living real life), where the death did perhaps come as a shock. But one thing I've learned is that, even as the author, you don't always know what is going to happen in your story. The character that just died? It was one I thought was going to still be alive when the story ended. But it just didn't happen.
Now, I could change the story. I could make everything come together so that the characters I like live, or I could simply end the book before any of the good guys die. But I have a hard time doing that. I have written alternate endings for stories before. I wrote one a while back, where a character died at the end, and my sister didn't like it. So I wrote a new ending for the story, and I sent it to her. But the ending that was published was the original sad ending. I didn't like the ending, but it had to end that way.
My stories don't always end sad, or even always have sad parts. But when they do, I am often just as surprised as if I was reading it instead of writing it. I do not set out to write sad stories. I don't like sad.
People talk about emotional trauma at the hands of a book, and blame the authors, but I feel like the authors get as much (if not more) emotional trauma at the hands of their own book than do the readers. When you're writing, the characters aren't just words you write onto the page. Whether it is a character that you deliberately came up with, or one that popped into your head and wouldn't leave until you put it on the page, it is your character. It is like having a friend that only you know really well. Other people know certain things, but you know them on a completely different level. You can write and write, and fill the book with descriptions of the character, and the inner workings of their mind, but you will always know that character better than someone who has simply read the book.
I have a tendency to write out of order. I'll usually start with a beginning, but then I add pieces as they come to me. My notebook reads like a 'choose your own adventure' book would if you read it straight through instead of choosing the adventure. I have the timeline jumbled, and I have notes in the headers about what details I still need to add to the story. And I have a death written out. I'm having a hard time now, writing the middle parts of the story, knowing what it leads to. It's like the whole "there's a monster at the end of this book" thing.
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| Cosette "helping" me write. |
Now, I could change the story. I could make everything come together so that the characters I like live, or I could simply end the book before any of the good guys die. But I have a hard time doing that. I have written alternate endings for stories before. I wrote one a while back, where a character died at the end, and my sister didn't like it. So I wrote a new ending for the story, and I sent it to her. But the ending that was published was the original sad ending. I didn't like the ending, but it had to end that way.
My stories don't always end sad, or even always have sad parts. But when they do, I am often just as surprised as if I was reading it instead of writing it. I do not set out to write sad stories. I don't like sad.
People talk about emotional trauma at the hands of a book, and blame the authors, but I feel like the authors get as much (if not more) emotional trauma at the hands of their own book than do the readers. When you're writing, the characters aren't just words you write onto the page. Whether it is a character that you deliberately came up with, or one that popped into your head and wouldn't leave until you put it on the page, it is your character. It is like having a friend that only you know really well. Other people know certain things, but you know them on a completely different level. You can write and write, and fill the book with descriptions of the character, and the inner workings of their mind, but you will always know that character better than someone who has simply read the book.
I have a tendency to write out of order. I'll usually start with a beginning, but then I add pieces as they come to me. My notebook reads like a 'choose your own adventure' book would if you read it straight through instead of choosing the adventure. I have the timeline jumbled, and I have notes in the headers about what details I still need to add to the story. And I have a death written out. I'm having a hard time now, writing the middle parts of the story, knowing what it leads to. It's like the whole "there's a monster at the end of this book" thing.
If I don't write anymore, I won't reach the end of the book. If the characters never reach the end of the book, no one dies. I'll still know that it was supposed to end like that, but everyone will be safe.
But that isn't the way that it works. There's still an ending, it's just missing the middle. And a life with only a beginning and an end isn't any better anyway.
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