Reading=Writing=Reading

First off, I read to my animals. We have been working our way through Watership Down (which I have never read before) in the evenings, and they seem to enjoy it. Do I think that animals understand the words to a story? Yes. Will I argue that point? No. Why? Because it doesn't matter. I read to them because I enjoy it.

Have you ever read to babies? Do they understand it? Granted, in most situations, they will grow to understand it after some amount of time. Chances are good that your child will not go through life not understanding the words that are read to them. But what if they do? What if your child has some sort of a disability, and they will either die before they are old enough to understand the actual words, or they will live to adulthood, but their brain will never mature to the point of comprehending language. Should you not read to them in that case? No. It is still a soothing, positive experience for them.
Anyway, that was a rabbit trail on my real point (a rabbit trail before I even get on topic...that may be a new one, even for me).
My point is more the dumbing down of America, by the dumbing down of animals. No, I do not think that if you don't read to your pets, your child will be stupid. Though, if you don't read to your child, the child might turn out stupid...But that's off track again...
The pictures of animals with captions that are completely misspelled irks me to no end. You know what I am talking about. The pictures that say things like, "Out of my way hooman." Ok...your kids are reading those. They're also reading text spelling, and hardly being taught how to spell anywhere in real life. I caption photos of my animals. I write the things that I think they'd be saying, going by the expressions on their faces, and guess what...my animals can fricking spell. They also use punctuation. There is no reason to use poor spelling just because it is a picture of an animal.
Some of the worst offenders in these cases are the owners of pit bulls. I feel like it is their attempt to make their dogs look like big gentle goofballs. But making your dog look stupid doesn't mean that they seem gentle. Just because they talk about their "teefers" instead of teeth, and refer to themselves as "pibbles", that doesn't mean that people will like them. Think about bullies, whether in real life or movies. They're not always the smartest people. They're big and strong, and not necessarily in possession of massive amounts of brains. And making your dog, who is obviously big and strong, look like it is stupid, makes it look like a bully. Not what pit bull (not fricking pibble...seriously, that term really annoys me) owners want.
Spell things correctly. Whether it is a caption that you are writing for yourself or for an animal, or for the lavender you're growing in your garden, write it properly. The upcoming generations are increasingly stupid. No offense. But if you work with kids in this day and age, you realize that they are not able to read or write at the level they should be able to at their age.

Read to your kids. I sort of just learned how to read when I was little, by having books read to me, and by listening to my Mom teach my brother how to read. Read to your animals. They'll enjoy it (I used to read poetry to my pony when she wasn't feeling well, and she'd perk right up), and it will build your vocabulary. And your reading ability. Too many people read in a monotone anymore, because they are not used to reading out loud. You don't have to be a showman, but the ability to read out loud in a way that your audience will enjoy is a skill. 

Family vs. Family

Do you have a family? Most likely. I mean, no matter how you feel about them, we pretty much all have family of some sort, whether blood or adopted.

Do you have a church family? That's not quite as common, but a lot of people do have that...
Now, which one of those comes first if you have to make a choice? I'm not even talking about major choices, such as "choose either your church family or your blood family, and we'll kill the other one". I'm just talking about whether you constantly skip family time to go to church events, or if your family is constantly dragging you away from church.
This mostly comes into play when you have a family who doesn't believe the same as you. They don't really even think anything of taking you away from church, because they don't see why it would be important. And sometimes, people in the church want you to spend more time at church, and less with your "heathen family", because it's healthier for you.
My parents and I went to our old church this morning. It's been something like 11 years since we left the church over some pretty major differences. I've been back a handful of times since then, and it's not really weird anymore. In fact, it's kinda fun to go back. But there was one thing said that is a belief of the pastor that I have never really agreed with. However, it is by far not one of the things that in any way contributed to us leaving.
He has always said that your church family comes before your blood family. And I disagree. I believe that your blood family comes first, no matter what. We were often a bit of a disappointment as far as youth group went, because Mom would only let us go occasionally. We usually just spent Sunday evenings together as a family. If was a little annoying sometimes, but it wasn't a big deal. I liked my family (still do, in case that sounded like it was only a past tense thing...). I enjoyed spending time with my church family, and my blood family. But there was a balance. Sometimes the balance was what I wanted, sometimes the balance was a result of my parents saying that, no, we'd been home all week and we were going to spend Sunday together. It was good for us, whether it was what we wanted that week or not.
I also believe that your family should come first even if they don't believe the same that you do. Especially if they don't believe the same that you do. Yes, it is more important to have a strong church family if you're not learning about your faith from your blood family. But there still has to be a balance. You can't just say, "Well, my family doesn't understand me, so I'm just going to stick with my church family, because they get me." Christianity is not about always sticking with people who believe exactly the way that you do. It is about learning, then going and sharing what you've learned. And what is the point of sharing what you've learned with the people that learned right along side of you? I have seen families where 1 or 2 kids become Christians, then use church as an escape from home. The rest of the family, those who think church is nonsense, then start to despise church, hating it for stealing away members of their family. There will be times where you will have to show that your family matters to you and you are willing to specifically choose them. Show that you have changed. Don't grumble about skipping church, and then sulk about staying home with your family. And for goodness sake, do not sit around making a big deal about how you would prefer to be at church, then go grab your Bible and sit there reading and screaming at anyone who tries to talk to you. This will only compound the belief that there is no point to church. You have to be even more aware of your witness, and how you make Christianity look to your family. You've probably heard that you may be the only Jesus that some people meet. That's a little overused sometimes, but it is true. You may be the one who convinces your family either that there may be something to the church thing you're talking about, or that they're better off not bothering with it.
It mostly comes down to balance, no matter what your family believes. You are supposed to go to church to learn and grow before going out into the world. You are not supposed to live at church, waiting for your next camp or next big worship service as you hide from the world. Your church family is important in your life, and you should always know that they are there to support your and vice versa. But they cannot be the only people you interact with. Just like your blood family can't be your only socialization (yes, I am lecturing myself now, as I don't interact with very many people outside of my family...).
What are ways that you have found to maintain a balance between your two families? Do you think your church family comes first? Or is it your blood family? Or a completely level balance between the two? Curious to see the thoughts of other people.

And to end it all, the most important thing is love. It ultimately isn't saying that one group is
more important than the other, or that you love one side more. Love God, love people, love yourself.
And I like Calvin and Hobbes and this picture makes me smile.

A Christian Responsibility

I see loads of blogs about the way that the US is going to hell in a handbasket (so to speak...). The comment sections of these tend to dissolve into 2 factions. First off, let me say that I really do not know why I read the comments on pretty much anything. They typically make me lose all hope for the future of humanity. And they make me want to punch numerous people in their stupid faces.
Moving on...
Those two factions are usually as follows:

Faction 1: Die-hard Christians. They say things such as "If we repent and turn to God, he will heal our land!" "This is all because we have not supported Israel! We turn our back on God's chosen people, He turns His back on US!" They take Bible verses, switch the words around, pretend that they are original words, and rant about how, if we would obey God, he would bless our country.

Faction 2: Die-hard everyone else. They say, "Well, I don't believe in God, so why would I do what he says? Following some old book won't change anything." "Have we forgotten that christians were behind the crusades?" "All this country needs is to return to the dark ages." They spout a lot of generalities about every bad thing ever done by people who claim to be 'christians', especially those who did not act at all like Christ. If all else fails, they bring up Kim Davis and consider the argument won.

Both factions use a lot of capital letters, as though they are actually shouting at each other, and some of the worst spelling in the whole of the internet (which is saying a lot). Basically, both are an embarrassment to the beliefs that they hold, no matter how accurate their beliefs.

I must say though, in one way, I have always agreed with the 2nd faction. Why on earth would they obey God? Why would we, who believe in God, expect them, who don't, to think that following what they say is an old fiction book (the Bible), because that is how the country will be made strong? It would be like them telling us that if we follow the principles in Arabian Nights because then a Djinn will fix all of our problems.

This is our responsibility as Christians. We are the people who are supposed to be following what God has told us to do. We can't expect people who don't believe as we do to follow the principles we hold dear, especially when we frequently don't follow them ourselves. We prefer to spend our time on forums, griping that atheists aren't obeying God.

I was at an event tonight, called Bringing Back the Black-Coat Regiment. The speaker was talking about what our responsibilities are as Christians, even in government. He pointed out that, God created government, and we are not meant to be removed from it. But we also cannot temper our Christianity to be part of the government. And we can't say, "Oh well, no one else is following God, so why should I worry about doing what I should do? What I do won't be enough to make a difference."
Because, guess what. If you know what you are supposed to do, any you don't do it, you are among those dooming your country. One of the things the speaker said was "God will bless or curse America according to the way Christians take."
As churches, and as individuals, are we pursuing God? Are we praying for our country and the leaders of our country? And the future leaders of the country? Or are we just complaining about and badmouthing those leaders? Are we willing to stand up and fight for our liberty? Preachers fought in the army during the Revolutionary war, and many died. They knew what they were fighting for, and they knew what the cost might prove to be. Anymore, we're too afraid to even offend people. It's so important to be politically correct, and we try so hard for it that most people don't even know our beliefs.  

Don't worry about how well atheists are following God. Don't worry about how well gay people are following God (oh yeah, and that brings up the point that we are supposed to love people, instead of hating them as we've gotten really good at...but that's for another day.). Worry about how you are following God. Worry about how your church is following God. Worry about praying for your country and the people living in it. Only in that way will we get the US out of the handbasket it is in. And seriously? Stop arguing with people on the internet...

Talking to People???

Everyone knows that introverts don't like talking to a ton of people. We prefer to stay in our own little bubble, and it tires us to spend too much time on people.

My problem though, isn't so much during the human interaction (though that is a bit of a struggle). It comes afterward. When I over-analyse flipping everything. I think about what I said, and what I should have said. I think about stupid things that I maybe shouldn't have said, or jokes/sarcastic comments that were taken in the wrong context and perhaps made me look like a total idiot.
I wonder if I talked too much...Maybe I annoyed everyone. Maybe I talked to little, and everyone thinks I am a jerk who hates people (wouldn't be the first time an entire group of people thought that about me when I didn't have any negative opinion of them). Maybe I talked to the dog/cat/ferret/turtle/goldfish too much, and came across as a crazy cat lady (getting harder all the time to deny that label...).

 I go over things I said so much that it completely messes with my head. I decide I don't want to hang out with those people again, because I am sure that this thing or that thing that I said has made everyone hate me/think I'm a child/think I need serious mental help. I remember conversations that happened years ago. Things that I doubt anyone else remembers at all. And I still cringe, and think that the other people involved in those conversations also think that I'm stupid.
Basically, I interact with people, and no matter how well it goes, I go home, feeling like a total moron, telling myself what I said that was wrong, and what I should have said instead. It isn't so much that it exhausts me, it's more that I tell myself each time that I can sound intelligent. I tell myself that I read, and I know a decent bit about a number of subjects. I know very well how to put words together and make sentences. And then I leave the house, or wherever I've been hanging out with people, and all I want to do is go home and lay in bed with my cats and dogs (who, by the way, think I'm brilliant), and hide my face from the world.

I know that I need to socialize, and spend time with people. If I forget it, my Mom is willing to remind me. But it is hard to build up the energy to actually do it when I know what the result will be. I do often enjoy the time with people, but worry so that I make things awkward or unenjoyable for others, so I tend to avoid it. Not the best way to handle things, but it makes life easier.
Now, usually, this would be the place where I'm supposed to give some 5-step plan or something like that, of how you can get over this problem if you are thus afflicted. But I'll be honest. I have no clue.

"I don't know..."

I suppose it could go something like this:
!. Start socializing more. You can never become a social butterfly if you never go out in society.
@. Use the words social, society, and socialize a lot more. That way, even if you only go out once every 3 months, you sound like you do a lot more.
#. Actually, don't. It makes you sound desperate. Like you have no idea how to socialize in the first place (which, if you are trying to fix the same problem I am, it is the truth. But there is no point to making it that obvious).
$. Actually go when you are invited to things. It doesn't matter if you have big plans of staying home and reading a book. Just plan to stay up late after getting home. The story will still be the same a few hours later. The same goes for watching tv shows. You can either catch the rerun, or find somewhere to find it online. Don't let media dictate when you go somewhere.
%. Decide that you do not care what other people think of you. This may be harder than it seems. There are some situations where I couldn't care less if I sounded stupid when I leave. I don't need to impress them, so I don't care. But in situations where I like the person/people, or I will be around them relatively often, I really care. No matter how often I tell myself I don't. But you need to learn to tone that down. You have to realize that, if people like you back, they won't mind if you're sometimes a little dumb. And really, you're probably not as dumb as you think you are. Do you remember every time your friends have been dumb? I don't. Which makes me feel like I am a lot more dumb than the average person. But I think it is more because I am so focused on if I look dumb, that I notice any little thing. I don't expect other people to be dumb, so I don't focus on those things.
^. Start focusing on the good from the evening. Did you tell a story that made everyone stop talking and pay rapt attention? Did you make a joke or comment that cracked people up? Did you have a deep, important conversation with someone? Think about those things instead of the things you said that fell flat.
&. Allow yourself to think about your interactions during the drive home. Make sure it doesn't interfere with your driving. Try to focus on the good, like in the advice above, but allow yourself to analyse the whole evening so that it doesn't just fester. But when you get home, pick up that book or turn on that movie that you were planning to read/watch earlier in the evening. Get your mind off of the evening, and especially off of the things you see as problems. Lose yourself in someone else's life and problems for a little while. The few hours after an event are usually when I do most of my analysing and kicking myself for being an idiot. If you take your mind off of it, it's like throwing your brain a raft when it's about to spiral down into the negative whirlpool. If you need a book suggestion for this step, check this out.
*Lather, rinse, repeat.

Basically, practice makes perfect. Or at least practice makes a bit better. You'll never improve your skills or teach yourself to not be so bothered about it if you sit in your house, reading your books (though, I am in no way slamming books. Reading is a great thing to do with your life.).

There's a Monster at the End of this Book

I've been doing a lot of writing lately. Just some fiction stuff that I am playing around with. Maybe one day I'll get it published, we'll see. I'd love to, but who knows. 

Cosette "helping" me write.

 Anyway, while working on one of the stories, one of the characters died. Now, it seems like a writer shouldn't be too bothered when a character dies. I mean, I've written the story. I've created the characters, and I've decided when and how they should die. It isn't like I'm reading someone else's book (or living real life), where the death did perhaps come as a shock. But one thing I've learned is that, even as the author, you don't always know what is going to happen in your story. The character that just died? It was one I thought was going to still be alive when the story ended. But it just didn't happen. 
Now, I could change the story. I could make everything come together so that the characters I like live, or I could simply end the book before any of the good guys die. But I have a hard time doing that. I have written alternate endings for stories before. I wrote one a while back, where a character died at the end, and my sister didn't like it. So I wrote a new ending for the story, and I sent it to her. But the ending that was published was the original sad ending. I didn't like the ending, but it had to end that way. 
My stories don't always end sad, or even always have sad parts. But when they do, I am often just as surprised as if I was reading it instead of writing it. I do not set out to write sad stories. I don't like sad.
People talk about emotional trauma at the hands of a book, and blame the authors, but I feel like the authors get as much (if not more) emotional trauma at the hands of their own book than do the readers. When you're writing, the characters aren't just words you write onto the page. Whether it is a character that you deliberately came up with, or one that popped into your head and wouldn't leave until you put it on the page, it is your character. It is like having a friend that only you know really well. Other people know certain things, but you know them on a completely different level. You can write and write, and fill the book with descriptions of the character, and the inner workings of their mind, but you will always know that character better than someone who has simply read the book. 
I have a tendency to write out of order. I'll usually start with a beginning, but then I add pieces as they come to me. My notebook reads like a 'choose your own adventure' book would if you read it straight through instead of choosing the adventure. I have the timeline jumbled, and I have notes in the headers about what details I still need to add to the story. And I have a death written out. I'm having a hard time now, writing the middle parts of the story, knowing what it leads to. It's like the whole "there's a monster at the end of this book" thing. 

If I don't write anymore, I won't reach the end of the book. If the characters never reach the end of the book, no one dies. I'll still know that it was supposed to end like that, but everyone will be safe. 

But that isn't the way that it works. There's still an ending, it's just missing the middle. And a life with only a beginning and an end isn't any better anyway. 

Don't Forget the "Normal" Kids

First off, a disclaimer. I do think it is wonderful that there isn't such a stigma attached to having a special needs kid. I'm glad that parents are finally accepting that it is not an awful thing to have a child who is differently abled (this is what they call people with special needs in India. I think it is better than disabled).
However, I have been a little bothered by the recent posts where people are using photoshop and whatnot to turn their differently abled children into superheroes and whatnot. I think it's cool when people do fun stuff like that. But one thing that bugged me about the link that I just posted is the fact that the family has 5 kids. One was born with Down Syndrome, and he is the one who gets the special photos. The other kids are in the photos, but they are doing normal things, such as reading books, or riding bikes and such while their little brother flies above them.
I don't know what this family does with all of their photos. Maybe each of the 5 has a photoshopped album where they are doing cool stuff that they couldn't do in real life. But often, people who are doing this stuff say that they do it to inspire their special needs child, and remind them that they are amazing. But shouldn't all of your kids feel like they are amazing? Shouldn't all of them have something to inspire them when they face hard times in life? Because, special needs or not, we all have sucky days.
I get the feeling sometimes that we are trying to hard to be PC and be sure that no one thinks that we look down on special needs kids, or make sure that no one thinks we're racist, agist, sizeist, etc., that we go too far the other way. Have you ever noticed someone trying so hard to not be racist that they come across as pretty much the most racist person you've ever met? We often get that whenever people are afraid that they will belittle a certain people group. But then it ends up lessening the importance of everyone else.
I have often seen families who have a special needs child, and the other children, because they don't need as much extra assistance, end up being left to fend for themselves. It isn't that the parents don't love them, it's just that they don't think they need as much, and there isn't enough time left over after caring for the one child who needs more.
By all means, make your special needs child feel special. But make sure that all of your children feel special. Do a special photo shoot with the other kids, or take them swimming or horseback riding. Especially if they see a sibling doing those things every week for therapy. Kids don't necessarily understand that things like riding and swimming are necessary. They just see that one kid in the family gets to do it. I understand that it could get expensive to take everyone swimming or riding every week, but see if you can at least do it occasionally. Or take up another hobby with them. Scrapbooking, or hiking. Something that gives them a special time making memories with you. 

Dangerous Animals

Apparently I need to not try to write on a subject that upsets me when Cosette is nearby, because it is challenging to type when she is climbing in my lap and licking my face in an attempt to comfort me. Goofy dog. She's laying down next to Marius now, but keeps looking at me to be sure that I am ok.

I was listening to some TED talks, and came across one about the "Vicktory dogs", the survivors of Michael Vick's fighting kennel. They were talking about how the dogs were so incredibly able to be rehabbed even though people didn't want to give them a chance at all in the first place. Even animal rescuer who thought the dogs should be removed from the kennel wanted them all destroyed without a chance. There were only a few people who tried to get the dogs a chance, and fortunately, the judge who was on the case was a good person. It often happens in those cases that the dogs are destroyed simply because they're pit bulls who have been involved in fighting.

Then I started to wonder what happened with Michael Vick. What sort of a punishment did he get for this dog-fighting mess? The answer I found? Practically nothing. He was given a 3-year prison sentence suspended on a condition of good behaviour, and a $2,500 fine. What the crap...
Personally, I think that if people want to claim that the dogs should be destroyed, Vick should be destroyed as well. He deliberately chose to force the dogs to fight and to kill the dogs which failed. He personally murdered several dogs in that kennel. All that the dogs did was what they were trained to do. They really had no option. Obviously, as they would be killed if they didn't fight. They had no choice in what they did. The humans did. The humans should be the ones to be destroyed. They talk about fighting dogs being broken beyond repair, but I think those who are broken are those forcing them into such situations.
Albert Schweitzer said, "Anyone who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives." It looks like Michael Vick was well on his way to that, and it doesn't really appear that he did anything to really change his thinking. He claims that he paid his debt to society, and his past should be ignored now, but he needs serious mental help. Or to be shot. Either way is fine with me. But he definitely shouldn't be making 5 million a year playing football. He should at least be in jail, paying off his debt to society the old fashioned way, like Jean Valjean did. Though, he's not even fit to polish Valjean's shoes. But that is a different subject...