Say It, Do It, Live It

It may not seem like it, but I love you.

Well...not you specifically...

Well...depends on who you are...

Well...may just depend on the day...

This really has nothing to do with anything that I'm writing...but anytime I
say, "well..." multiple times, this is what I think of :~) 

That wasn't so much a statement directed toward you (whoever may be reading this), but more a statement to induce thought. 

Is saying the phrase 'I love you' really enough? Can you act in any way that you want, as long as you are sure to say that you love often enough to the people around you?

It's been a topic I've been thinking on recently...

Most of you know about the situation with my brother. I'm not going to go into detail about it, because that's not what this is about. But it is what triggered this line of thinking. 

I just saw him a short time ago, because I was at my Grandparents' house when he came over to check their furnace. Before that, I last saw him at last year's Autumn on Parade (if you don't know AoP, your life is tragic...). So, basically, AoP weekend is now the time that I see my brother. Hmmm...Not sure how I feel about that. 

Moving on...I wasn't really going to talk to him. I mean, the last time that I saw him, I sort of insisted that he talk to me. It was an ok conversation, I suppose, but sort of pointless. It really made no difference. I mean, I offered him my phone #, and he took it, but I'm pretty sure that it was more so that he would know to not answer if I found his number and called him. 

So I carried on conversation with Grama and Grampa. I had Leaf with me, and was also a little distracted by her (she thought he was a demon monster, and was a bit freaked out). Life went on as it usually does when I'm over there. 

He was leaving, said his goodbyes to my Grandparents (I'd still not said much by this point), and just before he walked out the door, he said, "I know it may not seem like it, but I love you."

Now...my initial reaction was to say something that was not very nice. But I'd promised G&G that if I was at their house and Steve showed up, I would behave myself. And I did. I was actually pretty pleased with how well I behaved myself. I do think I snorted a little, but then I said something along the lines of "Well, if that's true, you could give me a phone call sometime. You have my number, I don't have yours, ball is in your court." And he actually said that, yes, he still has my number, and made noises that sounded like he was going to call.

Hasn't happened. Don't expect it to. He's risking a fist in the nose if he tells me again that he loves me. I mean, it's one thing to say that you love someone even when you don't often talk to them. I have people that I love a lot that I seldom talk to in any way. But the thing is, if I need them, I know that they are there. And vice versa. If something big happened, I definitely wouldn't let Steve know. I'd let people I care about on the other side of the world know long before that.

If you threaten the people you "love" with restraining orders just for attempting to talk to you, then it isn't love. If you don't let your parents see their grandchildren...not love. If you refuse to even attempt family counseling and just keep saying that there are issues with the family that need to be resolved, and you love them, but you won't even consider working on the issues, then it isn't love.

Family members move geographically apart. My sister lives in Salt Lake City, and she calls Mom all the time (usually during the one tv show that Mom wants to pay attention to, but that's that...). No, she isn't close enough to pop in for a visit whenever, but when she says "I love you", she doesn't have to preface it, and she means what she says.

Actions speak louder than words. "I love you" means nothing if you don't back it up somehow. Don't throw those words around unless you mean it, and unless you're prepared to stand behind them.

Sorry if this is offensive, but it encompasses my feeling so well...

The Rights of Cattle

Started writing this a while ago, then things settled down a little on this issue. But...they're flaring up again, and I put time into writing it, so here you have it.

This whole Colin Kaepernick thing is bogus. Just one more thing for people to hate each other over (and yes, I realize that this is a theme of my blogs lately...it's all you see anymore is people hating each other, so it's on my mind). So at the risk of being hated, I'm going to address it. Because I don't care how people feel about me. The important people love me either way, and if you don't like me, that's ok :~)

1. Rights
In this whole thing, the complaint has been the "disrespect" Colin has been showing toward the men and women who fought for and died for his right to do what he feels is the right thing.
Well guess what...they fought for that right. As such, he has the right to not stand for the anthem. You can't pick and choose what rights you're fighting for. You can't say, "Well...I believe that we should have the right to carry guns around, but I don't believe that a man has the right to marry another man, so gay marriage is disrespecting me." Those who fight for the rights that we have fight for all of them, whether they like that or not.

2. What's wrong with the country...?
This was the comment on a picture saying that the people who approved of Kaepernick's stance (or lack of standing) are what's wrong with the country (spelling and punctuation have been left as they were when it was posted...):
"Amen brother! Id like to see him not stand up if he was in a room full of Marines!!!!! Good old fashioned high school locker room beat down would cure this punk! And also dont buy anything from company's that sponsor him!!!! just my two cents!!!!"
If marines are going to "beat down" this punk for doing what he believes in, then they are themselves taking away those rights that they've supposedly been fighting for. You don't fight for someone's rights, and then not let them use them while yapping about how you've provided those rights that you won't let them use. Those aren't rights and freedoms. Those are the signs of a dictatorship.

3. Law?
According to Title 36 (section 171) of the United States Code, “During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in (military) uniform should stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart. Men not in uniform should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart. Persons in uniform should render the military salute at the first note of the anthem and retain this position until the last note. When the flag is not displayed, those present should face toward the music and act in the same manner they would if the flag were displayed there.”
How many people actually follow these exactly? Not very many. If we're going to whine about one person not standing, you should be equally offended by anyone who does not have their hand over their heart, or their hat held just right. Doesn't work so well to take one small part of the code and act like it is the only one that matters. If it matters, all of it has to be followed. If the other things aren't required, then sitting down should be allowed.
Different people show respect differently. Personally, I would prefer someone sit during the anthem to all of the people who hoot and holler during said song. Sitting affects me not at all. Yelling and drowning out the song makes it so that I cannot hear the anthem, and is incredibly distracting. But heck, if they want to yell and act disrespectful, that's their dang right.

4. Moooo...
How many people that you know actually stand, put their hand over their heart, remove their hat, etc, etc, because they feel so passionate about the flag/anthem/country? I would bet that if you are at a sporting event or whatever, and the announcer comes on and says, "Please stand and remove all hats for the national anthem of the United States of America", a large percentage of the people around you are standing simply because it's the thing to do. It's a herd mentality. We do what everyone else is doing, because it's what we're supposed to do. You won't get in trouble if you go along with what all of the others cows are doing. So we accept that we have to stand at this time or that, and sing/say the right things. We submit to having our bags and ourselves searched, and having guns banned in places where they should be legal, because that's what we've been told to do, so it's what we have to do. But most cows wind up in the same place in the end anyway.

I'll end with this quote. I came across it today, and thought it was a good one. And pretty darn accurate.
"If free people have fainting spells every time off-putting rhetoric wafts into their ears, soon enough organizations that work to stifle speech will be dictating what acceptable discourse looks like."

Wait...What Lives Matter?

What camp are you in?
Black lives matter?
Blue lives matter?
Furry lives matter?
Unborn lives matter?
Orc lives matter? (I'm sure it's a thing...)
There was a "Veg Fest" at the SLC library, and I went to it, thinking it sounded interesting. It said that it was "family friendly", so I figured they wouldn't be showing pictures of animals being killed or whatever. Not things that I want to see, and I hate the fact that people think that if you don't eat meat, or you like to rescue animals, that you want to see photos and videos of animals being abused and killed.
I was looking at the t-shirts for sale when I realized that, for all their talk about how life matters, lots of vegans don't actually care that much about life. Only the lives that they deem important enough. A lot of their shirts and whatnot refer to the lives of animals being more important than the lives of humans.

Now, I am very much into the idea of animals being treated better than they are currently. Small farms and the like are supposed to be the humane way to raise animals for meat, but I have seen plenty of people who are just nasty to meat animals because they don't want to admit that the animals are intelligent, sentient beings. Not even necessarily abuse or neglect, but things like pulling the ears of a pig until it squeals so that they can laugh about the stupid reaction of the pig. Which really only shows their own stupidity and inhumanity.
But how can you claim that we need to respect the lives of all of the creatures with whom we share the earth, but then cheer the death of those that disagree with you?
People claim that black lives matter, so cops should be killed.
Animals matter, so hunters and farmers should be killed.
Baby lives matter, so abortion doctors should die.
Now, I'll be honest. This is something that is a big struggle for me. I read about people abusing animals, and I wish they would die. I worked with girls who had been trafficked, and heard the stories about pimps and johns beating and raping them, and I wanted them to die. I found traps in the creek, and had visions of the trappers getting caught in their traps and dying like they intended the animals to die.
It is something that I struggle with, but it also makes me feel like a total hypocrite. Because I know that I can't choose who is worthy of living, and who is not. Each person or creature who is alive has been given life for a reason. I may not understand the reason, but that doesn't mean that they deserve to die.

The "(Insert favourite colour here) lives matter" thing pretty much does nothing but divide us further. Most of the issues that this world has right now stem from too much division. Race, religion, sexual preference, politics. Why can't we understand that we have a lot in common if we simply focus on finding those things instead of looking only at the differences?
I'm a straight white female. I'm a Christian, though I don't really identify with any specific denomination. I'm vegetarian, and have been since I was in my teens or so, though most people don't know that because I don't make a huge deal of it. I don't believe in pre-marital sex. I'm probably closest to Libertarian if I have to choose a political view. I'm too conservative for a lot of people, and too liberal for most of the rest. I love to travel, I'm wildly introverted. I prefer sitting in bed, watching a movie or reading a book while snuggling with my cats to going out and partying (though I do like hanging out with people under the right circumstances.

Most of the people that I met while traveling in Europe this spring were atheist or agnostic. Some were bi or gay, some were into sleeping around. Our political views were quite different, and our backgrounds and reasons for traveling were nothing alike. But I really enjoyed talking to a lot of them despite all of the differences. We found the things that we did have in common. We talked about books and movies. We talked about the places we've traveled. With one girl, I watched kittens from the balcony of the hostel. With all of these people, we talked about the things we had in common, then we talked about the things we didn't agree on. And we didn't argue. We discussed. We each explained our views, and we talked about both sides. Opinions may have been changed in some conversations, and stayed the same in others.
Respect is something that has been lost in the world. Respect of other people's views, and their right to life. We have these checklists of what we stand for, and if someone else doesn't stand for at least a certain percentage of those things, then we have no interest in them.
There will be plenty of people that you simply do not get along with for whatever reason. Sometimes you can agree on everything and your personalities simply clash. But whether you get along with them or not, you can treat them like humans, be respectful, and basically just be kind. I gripe about people, but even I can see that things would be so much nicer if we were all just a little bit kinder.

Do Not Pass Pokémon Go, Do Not Collect $200

First, I'm gonna be honest and say that I don't play Pokémon Go. I'm not trying to avoid being judged for playing it, I simply don't play it because I don't have a smartphone. If I had a smartphone (and a good data plan), I would most likely play it. For a month or two. Til I got distracted (squirrel!).
That has nothing to do with the game, but more with my short attention span. I did, however, want to point out that I have no emotional connection to Pokémon Go, and I am not simply writing this to justify playing it.

But there are so many people who are whining and complaining about Pokémon Go...They post things like the photo to the right, and get incredibly judgy about the whole thing. I was going to sat about the whole "issue", but really, a game on your phone should not be an issue...it is getting ridiculous.

See, the thing is, this game encourages people to get up and go outside and interact with other people. I know people who have social issues and struggle to interact with others, but Pokemon Go gives them a topic of conversation. My sister and her fiance have wandered around their neighbourhood a lot more, taking their dogs for walks, and chatting instead of sitting on the couch watching a movie in the evening.

 Does catching Pokemon do anything positive? No, not really in itself. But does the game get people off their butts and outside hanging out with others? Yes. Some businesses are even offering discounts or free stuff to customers play PG because the game is bringing so much more business to them. I think it's ridiculous that people are so up in arms about this game, when there are games like candy crush and whatnot, where people are literally sitting on their butts, making electronic pieces of candy disappear, or shooting birds at pigs.

And honestly, if you enjoy doing those games, that's fine. Though you should be careful, like with anything, to not do them to the point that you aren't doing anything else. But this doesn't only pertain to phone games. My whole life, I've often gotten in trouble for reading too much. Sometimes it has been actually getting in trouble, because my Mom thinks I should be doing something else, and sometimes it is because I have a tough time waking in the morning because I was reading a book and didn't go to sleep when I should have.
There are times that you shouldn't play Pokémon Go. Is your friend or significant other upset about something? Do they need you to be fully present to talk to them? Put your phone away. Unless you're expecting a true emergency call, be respectful and show how much you care. Are you in church, or at a lecture where you should be paying attention and showing respect to the speaker? Put your phone away. Are you at the theatre, whether for a movie, or a play? You can catch Pokémon before the show, during the intermission, or at the end. Otherwise, respect your fellow audience members and put the phone away.
Do you see a theme here? Be respectful. Whether you are catching Pokémon, throwing birds, sending texts, or anything else, be respectful. And that includes those of you who hate Pokémon Go. I would much rather hang out with someone who is using their phone to catch pretend little monsters than with people who judge people they don't know, saying that they're stupid or whatever, just because the game isn't something that floats their boat. If you don't like games like that, don't play them. It's pretty easy. Chances are good that you do plenty of things that other people would call stupid, and I would bet that you would be hurt if people went around calling you stupid because of a tv show you like, or a hobby you have. Just a thought. There are so many real issues dividing us, I don't think we need to work on more ways that we are all different.

I saw this posted shortly after Pokémon Go came out, and I kind of love it,
because it is so perfect if you've ever ridden a horse :~P

In the Moment

Mom and I took Kita down to the creek on Sunday. It was sort of a "last hurrah". We knew while we were doing it that we probably won't have another chance to do so. We had to lift her into the Sport to drive her down there. She loves the Sport, and she loves the creek. But even knowing that, there was a point when we were getting her loaded into the Sport when Mom asked if we should even take her down. We weren't sure if she'd be able to enjoy it, or if she'd simply be miserable. But we went.

And I think it was a good thing. Kita didn't seem wildly thrilled with Mom's driving. I almost expected her to throw herself down and kiss the earth as soon as we came to a stop. She sat for a moment, looking like she wasn't sure why we'd drug her out of the house. Then she seemed to look around and see where we were.

Kita didn't want to lay down, she wanted to follow when I went to check out how shallow a section of the creek is getting. She wanted to wander right up to the edge of the creek, in a place where a stumble would mean a fall of about 3 feet into shallow water. I think she mostly enjoyed seeing Mom jump up and come to her rescue. She meandered about, and I helped her get into the water for a few minutes after she almost face-planted attempting it alone. Then she finally laid down and hung out with us while we fed the fish.

It wasn't the same as usual. She hasn't been eating well, so she didn't even try to steal the fish bread once. She didn't tromp through the water, muddying it up so that we couldn't see the fish. But she enjoyed herself as we pet her and talked to her, and took pictures of her. She looks a little grouchy in most of the pictures, but she often does when a camera is on her face. She's such a sweet, happy dog, but doesn't always show it in her expression.

To the casual bystander, it would have looked like Kita was hating the whole experience. But, knowing her, we were certain that she was enjoying it, though it wasn't easy for her.

After we came up from the creek, Kita wasn't ready to go inside. So we moseyed our way down the lane, which she has always enjoyed doing, and hasn't had the energy for recently. She went out into the hayfield to roll in the grass, and Mom and I (and Marius, who had joined us for this part), sat with her while she lolled about in the grass.

We've known for a while that Kita is on her last legs, so to speak. She had a stroke last fall, and we thought she'd die then. She rallied well during the winter, and she and I went hiking in the snow a lot. She and I share the same feelings about snow (that it is absolutely wonderful), so we had a lot of fun during the winter.

Now, as Kita is really doing poorly, it seems that every time we go for a bit of a walk with her, there's a bit of  "I should have done this more while she could walk". The other night, she couldn't walk all  the way down the lane, so we sat right at the top of the lane, and watched the fireflies. I had a moment of wishing things were different, wishing that I could go back and do more with her, and it almost ruined the time that we were having right then. But she didn't seem to mind. She was happy to watch the fireflies with me, and didn't seem at all bothered that we couldn't walk down the lane.
I realized in that moment that she isn't thinking about the things we've done or not done. She loves us, and doesn't hold a grudge for the times that we were gone all day and really didn't spend much time with her. She is happy with what is happening, even if it's less than what we used to do. She didn't say, "Oh my goodness...if you couldn't be bothered to take me for a walk when I could walk, don't bother now." She enjoyed it. And we enjoyed it. On the one hand, we were saying goodbye. On the other hand, we were doing what we've always done with Kita, even though it took us a lot more effort, getting her into the sport and keeping her from plummeting into the creek.

From my experience, no matter how much time you spend with anyone that you love, when it comes to the end, you wish you'd done more. When you see that they are no longer able to do what you've always done, you want to do those things even more. It's no longer something you take for granted. But you can't live with those regrets. You have to live in the moment, like a dog does. Appreciate the fact that you've done those things often enough that the loss of them leaves a hole in your life. We've taken Kita on enough of these walks that we knew, even when she was having a bit of a tough time, she was enjoying herself.

Viewmaster

I don't agree with most of you. No offense, I just don't. I'm too conservative for the liberals, and I'm too liberal for the conservatives. I usually refer to my political leanings as "firmly middle of the road". Not meaning that I am wishy washy, but meaning that on some issues, I'm am very conservative (abortion, gun rights, etc), and on others, I am liberal (immigration is a big one here).

But see, I have my views, and I realize that you have yours. I want to respect you, even if I think that your actual opinion is bat-crap crazy. But can I ask you one favour? It would be brilliant if you didn't attack me for my views. I understand passion for an issue. I understand that we get excited when we talk about stuff. I understand that we read comments that others are leaving, and they get us fired up. Or we see that it seems like everyone else is using harsh words and sarcasm to get their point across, so we think that's the only way to do it.

I like to read the comments sections of blogs and articles. Well...let me clarify...I used to like to read the comments sections. It's interesting to see other people's views and you may learn a different way of looking at things. But now, most comments are attacks on the character of people who don't think exactly the way that you do. Someone posts an opinion that is not exactly in line with your own? Compare him to a Nazi. Someone asks for clarification on a point made in the article? Ask if she's about to go join ISIS.

And this is not only on political posts. Don't like an ingredient used in a recipe you found on Pinterest? The maker of the recipe must be a homo-phobic, racist scumbag. Because of course someone who creates a recipe for spinach lasagna, despite the fact that you hate spinach, must be one of the worst humans in the world.
We've created a society where we can't chance offending anyone, and people are so easily offended that in normal conversation, we have to walk on eggshells. We have lost the fine art of healthy debate
and discussion. At one point, those things were about learning the another point of view, and gaining knowledge. Now it is about trying to prove that you are right. You have to so closely guard your words that it is like you are speaking through a filter. Does this person agree with you about abortion? How does that person feel about gay rights? Hmmm...the only thing you have in common is a love of dogs? Stick to that. But don't mention pit bulls, because they're scary...With so many filters, it's amazing that we talk at all.

I miss the days where we'd get together with friends, and we'd debate every subject under the sun. Sometimes the chats would get heated, sometimes voices would be raised, and we'd actually be properly annoyed with each other. We all had very strong beliefs, and none of us believed exactly the same as everyone else. But at the end of the day, we respected each other, and we were friends. That's what is missing so much in the world. Respect for the views of others, and a commitment that our relationships are worth far more than proving that we're right 100% of the time. 

Chocolate Peanut Butter Frosting

I decided a while back that I wanted to make peanut butter cookies. I love peanut butter cookies, but I don't have a specific recipe that I use. My Dad doesn't like peanut butter, and especially dislikes the smell of hot peanut butter permeating the house. So we don't bake them when he's home, or when he's going to be home soon. 

That being the case, I went on Pinterest to find a recipe to try. And I found this one. And it's a good one. It's for sandwich cookies, but I didn't make them into sandwiches. I did half the batch the other night, to take to a friend's house, and a few days later made the rest of the batch. This time, I decided that I wanted frosting on them. But the frosting in the recipe is only peanut butter and powdered sugar, which didn't sound that great. So I made up a frosting recipe. 

Chocolate Peanut Butter frosting 

3 cups powdered sugar

1 Tbsp cocoa powder

2 Tbsp butter, melted

1/4 cup peanut butter

Pinch salt

3-6 Tbsp milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix all ingredients together, adding milk slowly until frosting reaches the desired consistency.

This is the part of the recipe where it's very important to not inhale too deeply. Between the cocoa and the sugar, there's a lot of fine powder swirling about in the air. It's hard to follow a recipe when you can't breathe.

 You can mix it at this point, but the peanut butter will still be a little thick. It will ball up more like cookie dough than frosting.

 That's why you add the milk. As usual, with liquid in something like this, add it slowly, one Tbsp at a time. Some days, you may need more, some you may need less. If you add too much, put in a little more powdered sugar to thicken it up again.

 I was tasting the frosting as I worked on it, and it just wasn't working quite like I wanted it. You know how sometimes, you get a plan in mind for what you want, and it simply won't turn out the way you want? I was debating adding more cocoa, but didn't think it would actually work. Then I hit on the idea of vanilla. So many recipes have vanilla, even if it's supposed to be chocolate or some other flavour. I figured I may as well give it a go. And it was exactly what the recipe needed.

 The frosting has nicely balanced flavours. You can taste the chocolate and the peanut butter. It's great eaten right off the the spoon if you go for that. You can alter the texture as you like, adding more milk to make it a glaze, or more sugar to make it more solid. Heck, add a bunch of sugar and some walnuts, and call it fudge. Pretty sure it would be delicious.

 And, of course, it's good on peanut butter cookies. Try the link I posted at the top of the blog, or use your own favourite recipe. I'm sure it'll taste just as good.

Eat them with a nice cup of coffee (how do you like that cup? An estate sale find...I love my coffee cups. Have I mentioned that it's a bit of an addiction?). The cookies aren't the best texture for dunking (a little too crumbly, and I don't like oats in the bottom of my coffee cup...), but they're good with coffee anyway, so just don't dunk them.