Say It, Do It, Live It

It may not seem like it, but I love you.

Well...not you specifically...

Well...depends on who you are...

Well...may just depend on the day...

This really has nothing to do with anything that I'm writing...but anytime I
say, "well..." multiple times, this is what I think of :~) 

That wasn't so much a statement directed toward you (whoever may be reading this), but more a statement to induce thought. 

Is saying the phrase 'I love you' really enough? Can you act in any way that you want, as long as you are sure to say that you love often enough to the people around you?

It's been a topic I've been thinking on recently...

Most of you know about the situation with my brother. I'm not going to go into detail about it, because that's not what this is about. But it is what triggered this line of thinking. 

I just saw him a short time ago, because I was at my Grandparents' house when he came over to check their furnace. Before that, I last saw him at last year's Autumn on Parade (if you don't know AoP, your life is tragic...). So, basically, AoP weekend is now the time that I see my brother. Hmmm...Not sure how I feel about that. 

Moving on...I wasn't really going to talk to him. I mean, the last time that I saw him, I sort of insisted that he talk to me. It was an ok conversation, I suppose, but sort of pointless. It really made no difference. I mean, I offered him my phone #, and he took it, but I'm pretty sure that it was more so that he would know to not answer if I found his number and called him. 

So I carried on conversation with Grama and Grampa. I had Leaf with me, and was also a little distracted by her (she thought he was a demon monster, and was a bit freaked out). Life went on as it usually does when I'm over there. 

He was leaving, said his goodbyes to my Grandparents (I'd still not said much by this point), and just before he walked out the door, he said, "I know it may not seem like it, but I love you."

Now...my initial reaction was to say something that was not very nice. But I'd promised G&G that if I was at their house and Steve showed up, I would behave myself. And I did. I was actually pretty pleased with how well I behaved myself. I do think I snorted a little, but then I said something along the lines of "Well, if that's true, you could give me a phone call sometime. You have my number, I don't have yours, ball is in your court." And he actually said that, yes, he still has my number, and made noises that sounded like he was going to call.

Hasn't happened. Don't expect it to. He's risking a fist in the nose if he tells me again that he loves me. I mean, it's one thing to say that you love someone even when you don't often talk to them. I have people that I love a lot that I seldom talk to in any way. But the thing is, if I need them, I know that they are there. And vice versa. If something big happened, I definitely wouldn't let Steve know. I'd let people I care about on the other side of the world know long before that.

If you threaten the people you "love" with restraining orders just for attempting to talk to you, then it isn't love. If you don't let your parents see their grandchildren...not love. If you refuse to even attempt family counseling and just keep saying that there are issues with the family that need to be resolved, and you love them, but you won't even consider working on the issues, then it isn't love.

Family members move geographically apart. My sister lives in Salt Lake City, and she calls Mom all the time (usually during the one tv show that Mom wants to pay attention to, but that's that...). No, she isn't close enough to pop in for a visit whenever, but when she says "I love you", she doesn't have to preface it, and she means what she says.

Actions speak louder than words. "I love you" means nothing if you don't back it up somehow. Don't throw those words around unless you mean it, and unless you're prepared to stand behind them.

Sorry if this is offensive, but it encompasses my feeling so well...