Romans 12 Part 2: Community Means Lying...I Guess...?

This post isn't so much about Romans 12 as it is about the study that we did this week.
The study we're doing as a group has a dvd portion, as well as a discussion time and some homework for during the week. It's a Chip Ingram study, which I may or may not have mentioned in the last post.
We were watching the dvd segment, and Chip started talking about some book that was used at Yale or Harvard or something like that. He said that they were used to teach reason and decision making or some such thing.

He told a couple of stories that were used in the book, and explained how they fit into the lesson about giving up everything to follow God. Then, at the end, he mentioned the book again, saying "If any of you have your phones out, and you're already googling the book title, you're not going to find it." He'd made the book up. He claimed that he made it up so that people would be more engaged, and if he'd simply started yelling about being sold out for God, and surrendering everything, most people would have checked out. And I was really bothered by that.

I understand the idea behind using stories to illustrate what you're teaching. Jesus did it, and it helped people to better understand what he was saying. My problem wasn't the fact that he used stories, but the fact that he went on about it being out of this college textbook. This wasn't part of the story. I mean, c'mon, he's Chip Ingram. People respect him, and if he said that they're stories he made up just for his message, I don't think anyone would care at all. In fact, people would be impressed that he is using the same teaching method that Jesus used.
Something about his casual attitude toward dishonesty made me unsure that this is someone that I want to be listening to. It's a real deal-breaker for me. I've had run-ins with people who enjoy telling "little lies" just because they can. And it is a major problem and needs to be stopped. I'm not talking about joking around, or telling stories that people know are stories. I'm talking about actual lies that have no reason to be told, but are told simply for the amusement of the teller. It's a pathological problem, and it's very hurtful to those who learn later on that they are being told lies. No one else was bothered by this, and kind of seemed to think that I was crazy for taking issue with it. And maybe I was. Maybe it was just the people in my past that made me feel that way. Maybe saying that the stories came out of the textbook from Yale or wherever was no different than using fictional stories to make his point. Maybe I was simply overreacting, and shouldn't care about it. But it coloured my whole opinion of him, and makes me a lot less interested in the study (which I wasn't super excited about to begin with). But that's the way it works, and that's why we need to really watch what we say and do. As Christians, and especially as Christian leaders, we need to be aware of how our words and actions affect people. Just because it amuses you, that doesn't matter. What matters is how it causes people to see your witness.

Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Banana?

 Tried a new recipe...It was a recipe for delicious banana upside down muffins. I was a little surprised by how easy they were. The recipe looks like it would take more time. But it doesn't. So get some bananas, click on the link, and make muffins. Here's how mine went. This isn't the actual recipe. That's why there's the link to click on. But this is how I did it, and some of the changes I made, and suggestions I have, and of course, my photos.



You start out by making caramel. It's much easier than most caramel making. All you do is toss your 2 tsp of butter and 2 tsp of brown sugar in each space in the muffin tin, then put it in the oven for about 10 minutes.

I did more like 6-8 minutes.
I've burnt enough stuff that I usually at least start it out with a bit less time on it than the recipe calls for.
You don't even have to bother stirring the caramel as it cooks. You just leave it in the oven til it gets all bubbly.
The recipe says dark brown sugar, but I've never been wildly keen on the stronger molasses taste. So I used light brown sugar, and it was great.

Then you take your leopard bananas. Hahaha...when you're sleepy, it's hard to stop typing banananananananas...I got a bunch of bananas last week, and have been waiting for them to get to just the right level of ripeness for baking. I think they were pretty good. Super sweet, but not mush. I wound up only using two bananas instead of the 4 it called for (I was gonna just do a half recipe, decided to do full and forgot that I'd already halved the bananas), but there were complaints on the page of them not being good to eat the next day, and mine were fine, so that may have had something to do with it. They were pretty good sized too.

 Slice the bananas nice and thin. I know bananas don't necessarily need a sharp knife, but it does make them mush less, so I usually use one.

You let the caramel cool a little when it first comes out of the oven. And be really careful with it. If you get this stuff on your skin, it'll stick, and it'll burn. Didn't do it this time, but I have had stuff like this get on my skin before. Trust me...don't try it. Or do. It's a free country. But if you do, I will laugh at your stupidity because you ignored my warning :~)
I was a little concerned this went too dark, and it was close, but not burnt. I hate the taste of burned stuff, and this was just under burned. It was pretty much perfect

 I didn't add the rum that the recipe calls for, but I wanted some sort of extra flavouring aside from the vanilla extract. So I put in some ginger.
I used to hate ginger so much. Thought it was one of the more disgusting tastes in the world. Still don't like biting into a big chunk of it, but I do like it in a lot of dishes. Or tea. I think it was Indian cuisine that changed my mind.

 Keep the fingers out of the way of the grater...
I did maybe half an inch or so of ginger, with the finest part of the grater. I didn't want to steep the ginger and add the liquid, so I grated it very fine so as not to end up with huge chunks of ginger. Didn't want these to be culinary land mines...

Fresh Nutmeg...Yeah...This nutmeg has been around as long as I can remember...Can you tell we don't use it much? This is not a huge tin.We just really don't use nutmeg very often at all. Oh well, still seems to work tolerably well.

I almost always substitute applesauce for oil. Except for frying. Applesauce does a rubbish job of frying things...But as far as putting it in cakes or whatever for moisture and as a binding agent, it works very well, and is way healthier than oil. Especially if you get unsweetened. Or, even better, make it yourself. I've done that once...It was delicious, but took forever.

Eggs...I had a ton of eggs to choose from. I need to start eating more, as well as selling them $2/dozen if anyone is interested). The girls have been laying very nicely for me. I could have used a blue egg, but they tend to be a bit smaller.
Fun fact...the pigment in blue eggs is added early on in the formation of an egg, and cannot be scraped off. It is incorporated throughout the thickness of the shell. However, the brown pigment, whether dark, or simply tan, is added later in the making of the egg, and can be scraped off. And now you know...

I almost always crack my eggs into a separate cup. Have since I cracked an egg that had been frozen into a dish I was making. It looked like a melon ball, and I could stab the yolk with a fork and pick it up. It was thawed by then, but was still kinda messed up. May have still been ok to eat, but I didn't think it was smart to try. And after hearing stories of rotten eggs and various gross things, I figure it's better to not risk ruining a whole dish.

Thought I'd checked my recipe and had everything, but I forgot to buy milk when I was shopping the other day. Luckily we had a couple tins of evaporated milk. And, I count it fortunate that this was still usable, as it expired in 2011. Tasted fine. Baked up fine. I'm not too worried about dying from it.

Once you figure out what milk you're using, mix all of the wet ingredients, and the brown sugar together. I guess brown sugar counts as a wet ingredient.
It looks kinda cool before it actually mixes together, especially the milk and egg, but once it's mixed together, it kinda looks like vomit. Yes, I know that I probably should not talk about vomit while doing a food blog...Part of the reason I don't do food stuff that often :~)

Mix the dry ingredients together, then pour the wet ingredients in, and mix til moistened.

I put half of the mixture into the cupcake tin with the caramel and bananas, then put the grated ginger in with the rest of the batter. I didn't want to put ginger in the whole thing just in case it didn't work out taste wise.

I put the gingery batter in the remaining cups, and stuck it all in the oven.

You can see a few pieces of banana sticking out of the batter in this photo, and I don't think it would matter too much. The banana mush down, and the batter rises, and it should be ok. I did push them down though, just in case. 

Don't those look amazing? The caramel sort of went all over the place, but that was ok. This is one reason though that I would recommend using a non-stick pan. I was actually pretty impressed with how well the caramel came out of the cups, and even off of the top surface. And you won't want to waste any of the caramel :~)

As good as the non-stick pan was, the muffins did not want to come out just at first. I shook the pan over my cookie sheet, then just let them sit there upside down for a little while to see if they'd loosen up.

Finally grabbed a spoon and ran it around the edge of each muffin. Apparently it was only the baked caramel that kept them from coming loose, and as soon as that was cut by the spoon, they fell right out, with their caramel on the bottom.

A bit of a mess. And, in getting them out, I mixed up which were the ginger muffins and which were plain. The only way to really tell is to eat one. I do think that next time, I'll do all of them with a little ginger. It adds a very pleasant note to the banana flavour, and all of the sweetness.

These muffins are amazing with a cup of coffee (though, I must say, I don't

know that I have ever had a muffin that would have been bad with

a cup of coffee...). Just found this mug at Goodwill :~) 

Coffee cups are an addiction for me.

The muffins are definitely best straight out of the oven, but stay good for a while. 

I made them on Wednesday, and just had a couple today (Friday), 

and they're still great. I wouldn't suggest keeping them long though, as they are 

incredibly moist, and I feel like they would mold in very little time.

Valentine's. It's Not That Hard to Pronounce.

This blog isn't really about people who can't say the word Valentine's. But that does annoy me. Seriously? We've all grown up the word...we should know how to say it correctly. It starts with a V and it's and N, not an M toward the end of it. Completely off subject, but that was a freebie for you ;~)
As Valentine's Day near, it is typical to start thinking about relationships or lack thereof. I'm not one to worry about Valentine's Day. I'm not offended by it, I don't get upset by seeing all of the Valentine's Day merchandise in stores, or posts on social media. Well, I do get annoyed, but only in the way that I also get annoyed by the rampant commercialism of any holiday. I don't call it singles awareness day, and I simply do not care what I am doing on that day (though, this year I do care, because I am going to a hockey game with my Aunt, and I am looking forward to that...We get to watch guys punch each other in the face, and hopefully see the Hogs win. What would I not be excited about??? There's also the Valentine's episode of Supernatural that I'm watching right now. It's my type of Valentine's show :~) )

My point though, is that as a single woman, I should be upset about Valentine's Day. Especially as a single 28 year-old woman. I'm getting dangerously close to crazy cat lady old maid status. 

And when I say dangerously close, I mean to the old maid thing...I think the cat lady status is a done deal :~)

Look how cute they are...Who could resist those faces?

Back on topic...

Along with being bothered by Valentine's Day, I should (according to most books, movies, and tv shows) be so desperate for a man by this age that my criteria has been whittled down to the bare necessities. Such as male, straight, and breathing. By the time a woman reaches her mid to late twenties, she should have let go of the list of things that she thought would make a good mate. You know that list...The "husband list", or whatever you may have called it. The list that said things like, "he has to play guitar and sing" "he has to be at least 6'2"" "he has to want 7 kids" "he has to love dogs and spend at least 45% of his income to rescue abused puppies" "he has to be a Christian and have been on at least 8 mission trips" "he has to know how to speak in tongues" "he has to write poetry" "or stories" "about the puppies he's rescued" "and about me" "he has to be romantic, and buy or pick flowers for me at least 3 times a week". Some of the items on these lists were legit, but a lot of them were pretty out there. Especially when you had a bunch of jr high girls making these lists. And probably, if I were to find one of those lists that I made back when we were supposed to make them in youth group or whatever, I would find a lot of nonsense things that could be taken off of the list. But for the most part, my list has probably become even more strict instead of more lenient.

For example...

And hot like Ten, but that's beside the point :~P

That's actually not entirely true. Though...I wouldn't argue with a guy like the guys in this picture. Except for Sherlock. I'd probably punch him in the nose...

I don't actually have a list right now. Not interested in putting that much time into it (are we seeing a theme with this lack of initiative on the subject?). But I've noticed that I frequently say, "I could never stand being with a guy like that." or "a guy who does this." If I had a list, it would be ridiculously long. And the majority of the things that would be on would be non-negotiables (yes...I've grown rather stuck in my ways in my old age...).

People suggest various guys that I know. Or guys that I am slightly acquainted with. Or guys that I have seen in passing. They say that I should at least give it a try, but if I can give a list of 5 reasons right off the cuff that a specific guy and I would not work out, I see no point in bothering. I was watching Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, and the stepmom is trying to marry Alice off. She refers to the son of a friend, saying, "He is unmarried, employed, and not awful to look at." She seems to think that this is a great marriage prospect for those reasons, but Alice is more into the idea of true love than the idea of a good match.

I even tried a couple of dating sites a while back. Yeah...HUGE waste of time. Decided that if something happens and I end up meeting a guy that works with me, that's great. But I have no desire to put that much time and effort into it. 

I've been told that maybe I should consider relocating, at least temporarily, to somewhere closer to Chicago. That way, there would be more guys to choose from, and I might find someone who is a good fit. But I don't find it worth the effort. If you change who you are just to find a guy, who is he really going to end up with? Not the real you. And how long will you continue to fake your way through life? 

We always talk about how you shouldn't change just because other people say you should. So why should you change for some person who may or may not be out there? What if you miss someone that the real you would love because you're too busy being someone else?

And what kind of crazy person would not love the real me? I'm amazing :~P

Romans 12 Part 1: Community Means Tears

I'm in a small group that is going through Romans 12. We're supposed to read the chapter every day while doing this study, but I doubt I will. Mostly because I already have a chronological Bible. But I will be reading it sometimes, and we are doing the study. So I thought I'd do a series of blog posts about various parts of the chapter. It'll just be whatever stands out to me at the time, and I don't know how many parts I will do. They'll just be in with my other blogs til we finish the study, or somewhere around then.

Romans 12:15
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

I frequently find it hard to be around groups of Christians. One of the reasons is that they are usually really good at the first part of this verse. They rejoice with those who rejoice. But with the second part, they're not so great. It's almost as though they take the verse to say, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice. Actually, rejoice with anyone who shows any sort of emotion. And make them rejoice too, no matter what they're going through."

Negative emotions are only allowed in a corporate type situation. The church or small group is learning about human trafficking, or children being beheaded by terrorists. Then it is ok to get emotional and to cry about it, or rage against the devil and the evil in the hearts of man. But it is not ok to feel more than a passing twinge about the loss of a house in a fire, or anything personal. Because our lives and everything in our lives belongs to God, and it is up to him when he takes it away. Even with death, you hear things about how it's "their time" and "God was ready to take them home".  We support each other as a community by trying to cheer each other up. And there's a place for that. But you can't really help someone through a hard time by simply making them pretend to be happy.

I have a hard time trusting people who never personally feel any bad emotion. It seems to me that they are either lying, or they have no clue about the world. And I don't really care to be all that close to people in either of those categories. 

I am sad fairly often. Sometimes it is for a reason that anyone would consider legit. Sometimes it is because I deal with depression and I have days where I am sad for absolutely no good reason. I can hear all about how life is good, I don't have anything that big that I am going through, etc...I can tell myself the same things til I am blue in the face, and it makes no difference. I am still sad. Ready to cry at the drop of a hat, and ready to spiral down into a dark pit of despair or fury over something as small as a song skipping.

It's hard enough for me to handle on my own, but add in the "rejoice" thing, and I not only feel sucky and depressed, but I also feel like I'm not "good enough". I feel like I should "Christian up" and not be so sad. 

It's rare to find someone who will actually acknowledge your sorrow, no matter the reason for it, and who will cry with you. But this verse doesn't tell us to weep with those who weep so long as they have a good reason to be weeping. It says to weep with those who weep. You don't have to understand. Heck, you don't even have to know why they're crying. Just be there with them. Listen if they want to talk, just sit with them if they don't want to talk. 

You'll never gain depth as a church, small group, or really any sort of community if your members feel that they cannot share their sorrow. Sharing joy is definitely good, but sharing your struggles can be more important. People share their joy with anyone. Mostly though, they share their sorrow only with those that they know they can trust.

Lions and Support Systems

Dereck and Beverly Joubert , a couple who made the documentary Soul of the Elephant, were on Ellen the other day. They were talking about Elephants, and how it isn't only elephants that are at risk, but lions, and rhinos, and so many others. Ellen brought up the case of Cecil the lion, who was shot by that piece of crap last year. I think probably the majority of people watching were a little taken aback, as was I, at Dereck's response. He said that on the one hand, it was a terrible thing. But on the other hand, they were pleased that it happened. Going on, he explained that it wasn't that they were glad that Cecil was killed. They were glad that his death brought attention to what has been an ongoing problem. About 600 lions are killed by tourists every day. Some, like Cecil, are poached illegally, some legally. Legal or not, it is wrong and needs to be stopped. Before Cecil, there was a little bit of attention for the problem, and after Cecil, people all over the world were up in arms, trying to get things changed.

As sad as it is, I can understand his point. So many are dying, but maybe this one will be the change.
Social media seems to be bringing this idea to the fore in many areas of life, not only conservation. Previously, we have been a more private culture. If we were going through some sort of medical issue, or dealing with the death of a loved one, we kept quiet about it. Those closest to us knew about it, but others didn't.
Now though, we share what we're going through. You can follow groups that keep you up to date with what they are going through, like Jaxon Strong. You can also follow groups dedicated to those who lost their fight. And on those, for example, Rally for Lily, those left behind form a support group, caring for each other and helping others who are still in the midst of their fight.
You always hope that you're not the one who goes through something horrible. You hope that you're one of the lions that just gets to chill on the Savannah and play Lion King (minus the whole Scar thing....)

But what happens if you're not? What happens if you're one who gets killed? Or, if you're one that deals with a disease or a tragedy? What will you do?
Cecil didn't have a choice. He was killed. He just happened to be a well known lion who was killed, and that was why his death received international attention. There were probably other lions killed the same day Cecil was killed. There were certainly other lions killed during the uproar surrounding his death. But they were unknown lions, and their deaths did nothing to bring attention to the plight of lions.
You do have a choice. You can hide and pretend that nothing is happening, or you can be honest along your journey and hopefully make a difference to someone else going through the same thing. You may be dealing with a physical disease, or something mental, like depression. Perhaps it's relational, and you've lost someone near to you, like the stuff with my brother. Chances are, you're not the only one going through whatever you're going through. You can go it alone and  not help anyone, or you can bring something positive out of whatever your situation is.

Real Art

What is real art?

What is real photography?

What is real writing?

What makes one person creative and one person not creative?

It seems that about 90% of the population of the US claims to be some sort of an artist. With digital cameras and phones with good cameras on them, photography is becoming more and more common. Self-publishing is pretty easy now, with Amazon's createspace, and various other publishers, giving more people the opportunity to become published authors.
Music, painting, videography...heck, even cooking is an art.

But what makes something art?

I saw a post on Instagram recently. It was a photo of a tree, with the bark in sharp focus, and the landscape behind it fades into the distance. The person posting it asked if the photo would be considered art or not.
It was a pretty picture. It was well framed, and looked like it had been well thought out. And the photographer had no clue if it was art.
What I said in answer to her question was that it depended on if she thought that it was art. If she liked it, if she thought it was pretty, and if she thought it was art, then it was art.
That's the thing about art. If you like it, then it's good. There are plenty of art critics, music critics, etc., etc. who may say differently, but oh well. There are definitely times that this doesn't apply. For example, if I would announce that I am going to start painting, following the cubism style, then swirled the colours on the canvas as though doing expressionism, then I am doing things wrong. I have chosen a type of art, and there are certain rules to follow within that art. However, I could go right now and start slapping paint on a canvas. If, when I decide that I am finished, I look at the piece and I like it, who is to say that it is not art? Probably lots of people, because people tend to be judgy jerks, but hey, their opinion really doesn't matter.

I went to quite a few art galleries when I was in Australia. Seems to be a thing to do there. Everyone kept suggesting art galleries, and it was chilly when I was there, so I went to some. And you know what? I determined that I did not have a grasp on art. All of this award winning art, and I had no reaction to most of it. 

But see, that's why art is so diverse. A painting or a photo that speaks to me may not speak to you. The same goes for a song, or a book. Any sort of art. Art is one of the things that show our differences. Have you ever noticed that in most dystopian books, art of any sort isn't allowed? Or the government has decided on one kind of art that is appropriate, and that is the only art permitted any longer. Because our responses to art make us unique. 

If you're an artist, by all means try to further your art. If you have a certain type of art you're pursuing, learn the rules and try to improve. But not to the point that you are going through the motions to make the art someone else says you should make. I like my photography, but I read about how to take better pictures fairly often. I do not, however, take all of the commentary to heart. Sometimes the photography "rules" make my photos look worse. At least in my opinion. So I do what I want. If I like how something is set up, I take the picture. Sometimes I also take one using the rules. But I usually prefer the one that doesn't follow the rules. It's the same with writing. I read a lot about how to write well. I do take a lot of it to heart, but I also do what feels good to me. 

Art is supposed to make you feel. What you feel depends on you. 

2 Rides

I was about 13  when I rode in the backseat of my grandparents' van to bring their new puppy home from the shelter. We became dog show partners, the bane of our obedience instructors' lives, and best buds. 
And I was 28 when I rode in the back of my grandparents' van to take their old dog to the vet to send him on that last journey that I can't join him on. 
Over half of my life, Shadow has been here. I've been here almost his whole life. Of all the dogs over the years, he's the one that has been in my life the longest.
We chose each other at the shelter, so I guess it's fitting that we sort of made the choice together that it was time for him to go.
It was a pretty day today. Shadow would have liked it. Sunny and snowy...I'd have had to pick ice balls out of the fur on his paws if we were out playing. And he'd be sneaking kisses with that big slimy tongue of his the whole time.
There's something to be said about being there at the beginning and the end. And basically, that is that it sucks. And it's also one of the best things you can do.