Taking Myself for a Walk on the Beach

 So, I love to walk on the beach. The sound of the waves, the smell of the salt, the feel of the sand and water on my bare toes... really, it's something I've loved as long as I can remember.
But sometimes these walks don't go quite so smoothly as one might expect. See, I walk out onto the beach, and I say to myself, "Ok, I did some beachcombing yesterday. How about if I just go for a walk? Don't pick up shells, don't poke squishy things with sticks, just walk."
And I nod, seeming to agree, when really, I'm already looking for a stick I can use to poke that squishy thing by my foot.
In the spirit of being normal, I wander off to take pictures of the surf and clouds. It takes a lot of effort to walk away from that squishy thing, but I do it.
5 seconds and 3 pictures later, I'm kneeling next to something that could be a plant, or an animal, or part of an animal, debating how likely it is to be poisonous, and wondering if it's safe to poke with my finger since I can't find a stick. I gently remind myself that today, we are not on an expedition, we're on a walk.
Reluctantly, I get up and continue the walk.

This time, I manage about 20 seconds before a brightly coloured shell catches my eye. I scoop it up and put it in my bag.
"Leave it." I tell myself, "You already have one like that."
"No I don't," I mutter with a scowl, "I have 27 like this. I need this one."
I'm off again before I can sort out the logic (or lack thereof) in this reply, gleefully picking up shells and poking squishy things, all attempts at not beachcombing forgotten.
I sigh and shake my head, wondering what it must be like to walk on the beach like a normal person. There's a good chance I'll never know. But hey, I enjoy it, and really, that's the main reason for walking on the beach, right?

One of those squishy things that are all over the beach. 

P.S. I was typing this on my phone while walking on the beach, and finally had to stand still while toying, because it was taking forever. I kept distracting myself by running over to pick up a shell or poke something. It was a problem... and the worst of it is, there's no one to blame but myself.


I was in a bit of a goofy mood today...I feel like this is one of those social media posts that one does not want a potential employer to read...