Worldly Pleasures

Was reading Les Miserables the other night (my puppy needs to know where her name came from…), and I read a bit that I hadn’t noticed before. It was at the beginning, where the Bishop of Digne is being described.

In my humble opinion, the Bishop of Digne is one of the most important, but least known characters in Les Mis. If not for him, and the fact that he listened so closely to God, the rest of the story never would have happened. Jean Valjean would have remained a hard-hearted ex-con. The people Valjean provided jobs for would have gone without jobs, Cosette would have remained with the Thenardiers, Marius would have died at the barricades. So much good would not have happened without this one man’s response to God’s direction.

What I have noticed about him before is how Victor Hugo describes him as pious and giving. Any money given him, he gives to those who need it worse. He worries not about his comfort when he can give comfort to others. Even his housekeeper thought him mad, because of the way that he lived.

But early on in Hugo’s description of the Bishop, you’ll find this quote:
“His early years had been devoted to worldly pleasures.”

Not exactly the description you would expect of a man so devoted to God. But true nonetheless. Well, true for a fictional character. And true of many non-fictional people as well. Your past, what you have done in your early years, or even earlier this year, does not define you. Who you are now does. You can make a difference that even you won’t know about if you are willing to devote your life to God instead of devoting it to worldly pleasures. It doesn't say in the book if the Bishop knew what an impact he had on Jean Valjean. I love in the movie, where the Bishop comes to meet Jean Valjean as he dies. I think that was a brilliant way to portray it. Like God was showing him what a change he had made in the world. 

The Bishop had an option in his early years to continue on the path he was on, or to devote himself to God. He had very little in the way of worldly pleasures after he devoted himself to God, but he took pleasure in knowing that he did what he was called to do. 

What gives you pleasure?

Beauty and the Beast. Yes, again.

Beauty and the Beast is the ultimate Disney Princess movie for women and girls who don’t necessarily believe in waiting for their Prince to show up on a white horse. I was told at one point that if my prince rode up on a white horse, I’d probably push him off the horse, steal the horse, and leave the Prince behind. Probably fairly accurate. Though I would hope he didn’t have a white horse. Another colour would be preferable :~)

But Beauty and the Beast is not about your weak princess who needs her prince to rescue her from anything, be it a tower, or an enchanted sleep, or an evil witch. Belle makes her own way, not caring that the people in her little village think she’s mental. She reads, she is intelligent, she loves her Father and helps him with his inventions. She wants more to her life, and she isn’t willing to settle for Gaston, who is supposed to be such a catch, even if it means that she remains alone. His plan for her to be his “little wife” is nowhere near her radar, and doesn’t care what anyone thinks.

She dreams of meeting her “prince charming”, but then when she meets him, he’s not nearly so charming as what she hoped. But she sticks it out, not even knowing that he is the one. Thinking actually that he is more of a thorn in her side than anything.

In this way, they rescue each other, instead of simply the prince rescuing the princess. He rescues her from the mundane life she is living, and she rescues him from his curse, and the life he had been trapped in. She teaches him to love, and learns to love herself. The rescuing is mutual, not the stronger rescuing the weaker, but each of them both strong and weak, and exactly what the other needs.

This is always the sort of relationship I have wanted. Not a man to complete me, not a man to rescue me, but one to whom I can give as much as he gives to me. Someone that I can be myself with. Headstrong, loving, difficult, goofy, whatever. The good and the bad. But I definitely do not want a prince riding in to save the day. 

Horse crazy.

A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with a Mom of a little girl who takes riding lessons through Leg Up. She was telling me about the differences between her girls, and their loves of horses. 

Her youngest, the one who is taking lessons now, is your typical horse crazy little girl. She and I have ridden in rain that is pouring so hard it soaks through our raincoats. The first time we rode in the rain, I didn't have a raincoat, and I ended up wringing water out of my hoody. She pays for her own lessons from birthday money that her Grandparents send her, and she asks me about the horses, and her lesson every time she sees me. She devours horse books and movies, and it is so much better when she is actually able to have her own riding experiences.

That was the problem with her older sister. She started out just the same. Absolutely horse crazy. Read the books, watched the movies, pretended she had horses. But she seldom had a chance to ride, or spend any time with horses. And so, other interest got in the way of horses. What was the point when all she had were books and movies, which are really just other people’s experiences? Without your own experience, it’s kind of meaningless, and there is only so much you can do. So she still likes horses, and will ride if she has a chance, but it’s more of an afterthought than something that she is passionate about.

I think a lot of the reason I never outgrew my horse crazy phase was because I got my own pony when I was in the middle of it. Being able to spend the time with my pony was better than any book. I’ve usually hated horse movies, because they’re far too sad, and horse books are often just as sad, or sappy. But I didn’t need to worry about that, because I could just go out and jump on my little pony and head out.

Needless to say, continuing that love of horses has taught me that life with horses is not the peaceful, romantic setting it is made out to be in books and movies. It’s hard, it’s heartbreaking, at times it is infuriating. But it’s worth it. And when you go into it at a young age, with so much love, by the time you figure out that it is not all sunshine and roses, it’s too late, because you’re hooked. You’re passionate about those crazy, big beasts that you ride, and you (and everyone around you) might as well give up on ever forgetting about them and moving on. 

What We’d Become

Watching I Am Legend (yeah, a lot of my thoughts come when I am watching movies) and their portrayal of what New York would look like after being abandoned made me think about decay and entropy, and the natural way of things to fall apart when not cared for.

Think of a city, and how much work it takes to keep said city in working order. The thing that struck me in I Am Legend was the grass growing everywhere. It turned every area where there should have been nicely manicured lawns into fields you could lose a horse in. How quickly would that have grown there, once there weren’t people there to care for those areas? Nature takes over very fast when outside influences cease.

That led me to think of my life. How much maintenance my life needs in order to stay neat and ordered, instead of turning into an overgrown field. And how quickly my nature, my sin nature, takes over at those moments that I do not keep up with maintenance. When I don’t pray as I should, or I don’t read my Bible as I should, I end up spiraling downward, the weeds growing up to choke out the flowers and plants that I want there.

The one part of the city that it showed not being overgrown was the corn field, which he uses for food. It was important, so he cared for it. If I looked at the spiritual aspects of my life as food, as the very means to my survival (which they are), I would not ignore them so easily.

Stepping back for a while to look at my life, and see how overgrown it is. I think I need to do some work, but that’s the first step, knowing that you need the work. Only when you’ve realized the weeds are taking over can you do some maintenance. 

26

Strange as it may sound, given the fact that I am now 26, this year was only the 2^nd birthday I have spent away from home. And oh my goodness, was it different than the last one. My first birthday away from home was my 24^th, and it was not really the best birthday I’ve ever had.

I was working in VT at the time, and took the day off of work specifically because I did not want to spend the day at the farm. I took off 2 days in a row, and drove a couple of hours to go hiking. I spent a lot of time stressed, because my gps wasn’t taking me where I wanted to go, and spent a lot of time wondering what the heck I was doing in VT. I ended up having a fairly pleasant time, just exploring Queechee gorge, and checking out a farm and a glass blowing company, but it was still something that had to be forced. I knew that in order to enjoy my birthday, I had to really make a huge effort.

Here, I didn’t have to do that. I went get my folks from the airport (they got in about an hour after my birthday ended. Though, really, they got here when it was still my birthday in the States :~) ). I started the morning with coffee, a motorcycle ride, and breakfast with my best friend. Had to work, but hey, I love my job, so it was totally fine. Worked with my awesome little Hercules, snuggled with the kitten, then went to the office, and spent some time with friends here. Had a great lunch with the ladies in the office. Delicious indian food :~) Wasn’t hugely thrilled about the fact that the drive to Bangalore was 8ish hours, but it wasn’t that big of a deal, considering why I was going. And I really enjoyed being down on the plains in the evening. It was pretty neat. Everyone ending their day, and making their way home with bullock carts, and herds of cattle and goats. Groups reclining on sacks of vegetables and whatnot in the backs of lorries. In spite of the fact that we were racing down the road, attempting to avoid the motorcycles that darted out in front of us, it was somehow very peaceful watching everyone making their unhurried way home.

It was such a wonderful day. My sister said in her card that she hoped it would be the best birthday I’ve had thus far, and if it wasn’t the best, it was certainly close.  

The Movie Experience

I was struck by the wording in an ad for Blu-ray discs the other day. They talked about the fact that you get a dvd along with your blu-ray disc, so that you can “Share the movie experience with your family on the go.” What movie experience? How did we get to the point that the experiences a family has together are movie experiences, where truly, you are not experiencing anything together. Except sitting in front of a screen, watching the creation of someone else’s imagination.

Not that I am saying watching movies is bad. I watch movies frequently, and am in fact watching one as I type this. But I do not consider it an experience. It’s something to watch while I am typing, or doing something else with my hands. It is an amusement, and nothing more. If I want to have an experience with my family or friends, I will turn off the tv, and do something else. The only time I really consider watching a movie an experience is when no one cares if we talk through it. Like a few weeks ago, I watched The Hobbit with a couple of friends. One fell asleep a short way into it, while the other and I talked pretty much the entire movie. We discussed the philosophy of Tolkien, talked about his other books, and I think we even talked about who was attractive and who was not in the movie (In spite of the fact that the friend was a guy, and we were pretty much only talking about attractive guys…). I would call that a movie watching experience. A time where the movie takes a backseat to the relationships of the people watching, whether it is family, or friends.

I remember one time going to a movie with just my Dad and my sister. There were maybe 2 other people in the theatre, and they were sitting all the way at the back, so we were able to talk as much as we wanted. Which, for my Dad, was a lot of talking :~) I don’t even really remember what the movie was. I know it was a Harry Potter movie, but that’s only because I know the only movie the 3 of us have gone to together without Mom was Harry Potter, because she just didn’t care.

Or the time that my family went to see Prince Caspian without me. I think I was in India. And I was a little bummed. But when I got home, it was still in the dollar theatre. So Dad and I got on the motorcycle, and went to see it. I remember that I had to take my helmet into the theatre, even though he left his outside, because mine was nicer, and we were in a sketch part of town, and he didn’t want it stolen. Mine was also actually Mom’s new helmet. We talked during the movie again. That just sort of happens when you go to movies with my Dad. He’s not much for being quiet during movies, even in a theatre. We talked about how cool it would be to race a Friesian through a series of streams the way that Caspian did at the beginning. I’m sure we talked about other stuff too, but that’s the main thing I remember.

I hate being with people who freak out if you speak during a movie. I was recently watching a movie with a friend, and every once in a while, he would just stop the movie (I’d not seen it before, and he didn’t want me to miss important parts), and ask me what I thought of a certain part, or just to make a comment about it. Sometimes, if it was a slow part, he’d just talk over the movie.

Anyway, I am sort of rambling about “movie experiences”. All this to say though, I don’t really remember the movies I’ve watched half the time. Most of the movies I’ve mentioned, I remember details because they were also books that I have read. But movies to me are entertainment. Usually something to do as I am doing something else (typing, knitting, reading, etc). The movie experiences that mean a lot to me are the experiences that help me in some way to grow closer to the people I care about. And that definitely doesn’t include sitting for a couple of hours ignoring each other. If that happens, I usually fall asleep. 

Endless Possibilities.

"Endless possibilities..." 

I used to use this phrase a lot when I was dating. My bf would ask me what we should do, whether that particular day, or in the future. I would throw out a few ideas, then say that there were endless possibilities. Especially when we talked about the future. There was so much that could be done. And I definitely meant it.

Eventually though, endless possibilities devolved into watching a movie and snuggling on the couch, or in his hammock while we talked about the things that we should do. And never did any of them. Not that I was averse to cuddling, but I also wanted to do other things. I didn’t really care if we were doing something worthwhile like helping with an outreach together, or something completely pointless, such as playing tennis or hiking in the woods.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened had we taken some of those possibilities. Perhaps we still would have ended up breaking up and not speaking to each other. But it’s a lot easier to end a friendship when you don't ever try any of the possibilities before you.

Endless possibilities don’t always have to be overly spectacular things, but it should mean taking advantage of some of the possibilities.

That’s a phrase I’ve tried to avoid for a while. Brings up memories that I’d just as soon not think of. But lately, I have been thinking about it again. There still are endless possibilities for my life. And I have a decision to make about those endless possibilities.

Any time things don’t work out as I expect, or as I want them to, I get disappointed. I think life is falling apart, and I feel as though I am set adrift for a time. But what I need to realize, and what my mind and heart are starting to grasp, is that when things don’t work out as I plan, that is when there are endless possibilities. And when life is so open like that, I can either lie in a hammock and watch a movie, or I can get up and search out some of those possibilities. Even if it’s something pointless like going on a road trip just for the heck of it, or if it’s doing some sort of mission work that has a bit more of a point, so long as I am doing something that I enjoy, that is not just sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I am taking some of those possibilities. And they are truly endless.