Things I miss

Notice in the title, I say things. Not people. So don't think I am just being materialistic and that I only miss things. I was thinking yesterday about certain conveniences that I really don't think about while I am at home, or that annoy me when I am home. But when I am gone, I realize just how much they make my life easier. So here are some of them that I have thought of recently.

Cars-Normally, I am not a fan of cars. I don't like driving, gas is expensive, and they pollute the air. But oh my goodness, they make life so much easier. It takes me several times longer to get anywhere here. I don't mind the walking so much, though sometimes I get very tired. But when it is too long to walk, waiting on the bus becomes rather a hassle. It makes me miss the ease of just walking outside, jumping in the car (preferably with someone else driving, but either way), and going where I need to go. I don't need to worry about arriving late because the bus is late for whatever reason, and I don't have to get to the bus stop early in case (miracles of miracles) the bus is early.
The bus is however a far more social experience than riding in a car. As long as it is kept appropriate, I actually rather enjoy spending the time with people.

Convenient food-I don't even have a microwave, but it's so easy to take a piece of pizza (made on our spinny pizza maker) and pop it in the toaster oven, and pretty soon, it's warm and the cheese is melted, and it's ready to eat.

In the same vein...Ovens-Most people here don't have ovens, and where there are ovens, they're not so great. It either takes forever to bake something, or the oven burns whatever you're making. I really enjoy cooking on the stove, but there's something to be said about being able to bake cookies whenever you feel like it.

Long showers-I guess I should clarify. I can take long showers if I please. However, what I miss are long showers that remain hot for longer than 3 minutes. I am becoming an expert at super fast showers.

Water-Obviously we have water here, but I am talking about 2 specific types of water. First, drinking water that comes out of the tap. Water I can brush my teeth with without bringing a bottle of water into the bathroom with me. I guess I could, but I don't want anymore intestinal parasites than those I have already probably picked up. Oops...that was probably TMI :~) I also miss having hot water that comes out of a tap. It's so much easier to wash dishes when I don't have to haul hot water.

Washing machine-There's a machine at Farley, but you have to haul water to it, and then haul the water away also. There are other places I can have my clothes washed, but I have to carry my clothes quite a ways. A washing machine in the house is a lovely thing. I'm not so concerned about the dryer. I am totally fine hanging my clothes to dry, but having a washer that is close by that I don't have to carry water for is nice.

I'm sure I could think of a lot more things, but those are the main things that make my life easier.

Alone, yet not alone am I

I’m in the homesick period of my trip. Luckily for me, I tend to be homesick for roughly the 1^st 2 weeks of my trip, and then I am fine. I still miss home, but it’s not really what I would call homesickness. It’s more of a dull ache. Like when you strain a muscle, and the pain doesn’t keep you from doing anything, but you feel it there constantly. That’s about how my loneliness feels.

I think things are compounded by the fact that when I left, I was still trying to resign myself to the fact that Skye is gone. Skye is my horse that died less than a week before I left home for anyone that doesn’t know. Usually, I can lessen the amount that the loneliness bothers me by saying, ‘eh, it won’t be that long til I see them again.’ But with Skye, that is not the case. He won’t be there when I get home. And I really didn’t have the time to get my mind used to that fact before I left. Which makes it a lot harder. Some part of me is still going to expect him to be there when I get home.

I’m really enjoying my time here in Mumbai, and I am looking forward to getting to Ooty, but I am also hoping that my homesickness goes away quickly like it often does. People seem to think that I don’t miss anyone or anything while I am gone. I am having adventures, so who cares about people? But that is not the case. It’s actually fairly hard for me to leave. I go because I love to travel, and I know that it is what I am supposed to be doing, but it’s not just all easy.

But I know I am not alone. No matter where I am, God is with me. I sometimes have to remind myself of that when I have those moments where I feel like I am surrounded, but at the same time, I am totally alone. There are people all around me, but no one who actually knows me, or truly cares. But the one who is always with me, knows me more deeply than anyone else ever could, and he cares about me more truly than anyone ever has or will. And while it would be nice to have a physical person who could travel with me, I have the one that I really need already with me. 

What makes life normal?

I’ve come to realize that this whole plan of keeping up with a blog is falling apart quickly. As I go through the day, I think of lots of things I want to write. But then in the evening, I am either tired, busy, or talking to Anu (my couchsurfing host). And now I am staying in a place that does not have internet. So I am trying to get caught up a little bit by typing in a document that I can post later.

Mumbai is so crazy different from Ooty, and then in some ways, it is very similar. There are random things that people do that I just look at it and say, ‘yep, that’s India.’ It’s weird how fast you get used to things. I mean, really, I have not spent that much time in India. But the way people act, and the way life is, it just seems normal. Yeah, sometimes it drives me nutty, but so does stuff at home that I have grown up with. But it’s not really a culture shock or anything.

The whole thing of driving on the left side of the road is an example of this. Some of you may know that when I come home, I have issues with driving on the right side of the road. Ok, that’s stupid. I was 21 before I came to India (which is the only country I’ve been to so far where they drive on the left). So I had 21 years of seeing people drive on the right side of the road, and 3 years driving (well, 3 legal years…) myself. That’s what I should be used to. But driving on the left is a lot easier for me. I have to make myself think to figure out which side I’m supposed to be on at home. So watch out if you see me driving around in June.

There is really no such thing as on time here. Some people might say that I should be used to that after growing up with my Dad. But compared to Indians, Dad is super punctual. Scary, I know. Half the time, it seems like there is no concept of on time. The train will get there when it gets there. Your driver (for people who have drivers) will show up when he shows up. He might be late if he has to get chai. Or he might be late for some reason you’ll never know. You can try talking to people about their punctuality, and they will be very contrite, and apologetic, but nothing will change. Except you. You’ll either get to the point that you can’t handle it anymore, or you’ll get to the point where you are used to it, and you learn to be more patient.

Culture shock is really nothing more than a person having their view of what is “right”, and not being willing to accept that to someone else, they’re the crazy one. If you’re going to travel, you have to be open to the fact that, outside of your country, things will be different. And it’s way easier to accept the culture you are in than it is to try to change a whole culture. You’ll also learn a lot more. Maybe some things at home are better, maybe some things where you go are better. Some will be equal, but you’ll never know if you don’t give it a chance.

Like chai breaks in India. Those are great. We don’t do things like that. You grab tea or coffee, and drink it while you work. Here, lots of people have specific times for breaks. They’ll have their chai, and perhaps a biscuit, drink it in a couple of minutes, and then get back to work. They don’t spend all day sipping their chai, but it gives a nice respite from their work. And I think it’s brilliant. Wouldn’t go over so well at home if I said, ‘ok, I’m gonna take a chai break.’, although it’s really no worse than a smoke break (but that’s a whole other thing…), but it’s very pleasant.

It’s not so much what makes life normal that you should worry about. Worry about what makes you happy. And what brings glory to God. Beyond those things, normal is obsolete. Who cares if people think you’re crazy no matter what country you’re in. I’d rather be crazy and happy than normal and always worried about what people think. 

And I'm here.

Wow, ok, I was planning on being a little bit better about updating this before I left. But everything just got so hectic, I never took the time. So I am in Mumbai right now. I am spending about a week in Mumbai, because everyone says that I should see more of India than just Ooty. And yeah, I already have...
I got in last night around 9:45. Then I had to get my luggage, find an auto, etc, etc. The auto ride ended up being over half an hour (and they gypped me on the price, which isn't a surprise), and it was sheer craziness. The late hour, combined with the ride, reminded me of my first time in Manaus, speeding through town with Jon, worrying the whole time that I was going to die. Obviously, neither trip killed me, but both of them were very interesting. And the whole auto ride, I was absolutely fascinated, watching Mumbai go by. I love seeing new places and new things. :~)
Mumbai is a town that is a study in contrasts. On the one hand, it is a huge city. And it seems like a huge city. The traffic is like Chicago, except almost less civilized. Lines showing where lanes in the road are, are merely suggestions that most people ignore. There are 3 different speed limits, depending on what sort of a vehicle you are driving, but I do not think that anyone pays attention to them. Everyone swerves around, trying to get to their destination the quickest. But then you have people strolling across the street as though they are in small town America, where hardly any traffic goes through, and they certainly do not have to concern themselves with the traffic. No one would hit them of course.
Then you have fancy hotels and buildings, with homeless people living in their shadows, along the median of the road. Some have small shacks to live in, some don't even have that much. I see things like this, and I am shocked, but the Indians don't even notice it.
When I arrived at the place that I was going to be staying, I had to walk all around this apartment complex, trying to find the place I was supposed to be. The guards gave me directions, but they weren't very clear. I was trying to figure out where to go, and I looked up at the sky. The first stars I saw looked very familiar. There weren't many stars that were visible, between the tall buildings blocking them, and the light drowning them out. But these stars were stars that I would recognize any time I saw them. They were the shoulders of Orion. If you know me very well, you know that I absolutely love Orion. And I don't even know why. I think partly because Orion is a constellation that I see no matter where I go. Every time I have traveled, I have been able to find Orion. When I walk outside at night, he is the first constellation I look for. So to see him as soon as I looked up was really neat. It was like God was giving me something familiar to see, even though I was in such a foreign place.
I'll try to post updates a little more regularly after this :~) Once I get an adapter so I can plug my computer in at least. I need to go now and try to conserve my battery. 

Perfect timing.

Faith is sometimes crazy hard to keep strong when you expect something to happen at a certain time, and it doesn't. I usually struggle with thoughts of, 'well, God hasn't done this yet, so maybe I heard wrong. Maybe it's not supposed to happen. Maybe it's just my hope, not his will.'. And while that may be true in some cases, in some, it probably isn't. I am giving up because things are not happening in my timing, but perhaps my timing is different than God's.
I was reading in Exodus today, and chapter 23, God is telling the people of Israel that he will send his angel before them, and he will send hornets before the children of Israel to drive out the Hivite, the Canaanite, and the Hittite from before them. I'm sure that the Israelites would have expected God to do that quickly. They saw his power in Egypt, and knew what he could do to drive out the inhabitants of the promised land.
But then God adds a bit of a disclaimer. In verses 29-30, he says, "I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee. By little and little I will drive them out from before thee, until thou be increased and inherit the land."
I doubt a lot of the Israelites were too pleased to hear this. I think I would have been. Why take a long time to rid the land of the heathens when God could do it in a couple of days? And he wouldn't have to even take that long. I mean, the soldiers could have gone in, they could have had a couple of battles, then the land would belong to God's children, instead of waiting longer, and having so many battles.
But that is me as a human talking. What I love about these verses is that God explains himself. There is nothing at all that makes it so that God has to explain himself to humans. He didn't even have to give them an idea of what his timing was going to be. He could have said, "You're going to get this land, but you're just going to have to be patient and I'll get around to it eventually." But he had a definite reason for why he was not going to quickly empty the land. He loved his people, and he knew that in the long run, it would hurt them to be given so much land to care for at one time. And he explained it to them.
Maybe what you're waiting for is God's will. Maybe you heard him right, and he wants to give whatever it is to you. But perhaps he is waiting until you are able to handle it. Maybe you have to move into it slowly or there will be negative consequences even though you have what you wanted to have.
Keep trusting and believing. Ask God to help you understand his timing. Ask him to prepare you. The Israelite nation had to increase in numbers before they were able to have the whole land. It could be that something in your life needs to change before you can move forward. And also pray that God would reveal to you if this is really his will. Are you waiting for something that's of him, or something that is of you? If it is of you, you probably do need to move on. But if it is from him, you need to continue to trust in him, and wait on his timing, and follow his direction in the meantime.

Strength, not Feminism

I must say, I desire to be a strong woman. But I am not in any way a feminist, and I'm actually not too fond of them at all. I think that they are messing with the way that things are supposed to be. Men are supposed to be the head of their family. Men are supposed to be spiritual leaders. Women should let men lead, and should let men help them. Women should give men the chance to be chivalrous, instead of yelling at them, or mocking them when they try to be gentlemen. Our culture has gone so downhill, because men get their heads bitten off every time that they try to help a woman with anything.
But there is a difference between being a feminist, and being a strong woman. I have been reading the Bible with a specific focus on the way women are spoken about. I don't know why I have that focus. It might be something that God is bringing to my attention at this point; I'm not sure. But there are four main types of women that are talked about.

The women in the Bible that make me sad are the women that are basically looked at as pointless. Not by God; no one is seen as pointless by God, but their families didn't care about them. Some that are in this category are the Levite's concubine, and his host's daughter in Judges 19, and Lot's daughters in Genesis 19. In both of these cases, the men of the city they were in, came to rape the male guests at the house. And to save the men, the virgin girls were offered in exchange, for the mob to do with them as they pleased. The Bible doesn't say what happens to the host's daughter, and Lot's daughters ended up not being sent out, but the concubine was given to the men, who raped her all night, and she ended up dying.
How terrible would it be, to be betrayed by the person who is supposed to be protecting you? Whether your Father or husband (concubines were wives, they just didn't have the legal status), if they gave, or even offered to give you to a group of men so that they could rape you, that would be absolutely terrifying and horrible. You would have no one to turn to then. And these men made it clear that the women were not worth anything to them.

The 2nd group is not a huge group as far as biblical characters go. In my opinion, Jezebel is the epitome of a feminist. Her husband Ahab was the King, but it looks like she pretty well ruled the roost. She told him what to do, and he followed it. It didn't help matters that she was married to a weak man. But look how that turned out. They were enemies of God. Jezebel ended up being pushed out of a window, and her body was eaten by dogs.

Then there are girls who were very important to their families, although not necessarily that strong. Jacob's daughter Dinah in Genesis 34 is one of those. Her brothers were willing to start a war to defend her honour. And Jephthah's daughter, in Judges 11 is another. Jephthah made the vow that whatever came out first to greet him when he returned from war, would be given to God. Then, when it was his daughter, he was devastated. He did not say, "Eh, it's a girl. At least it wasn't anything important." When he saw that she was the first one to come out of his house, he tore his clothes in regret. He did as he had promised the Lord he would do, but it troubled him greatly to do so.
These women had worth to their family, and their families showed that. Even in a culture where daughters weren't that important, they were.

And the last group is the women that I want to be like. These are the women who were stronger than most people could be. They knew what they were supposed to do, and they did it. Yeah, they hesitated at times, or they questioned, but they did it anyway. And, something that I think is important even for strong women right now, they submitted to the men in their lives, and admitted that they needed those men.
My favourite woman in the Bible would have to be Ruth. For all Ruth knew, she could have been throwing away any chance at having a family, and having a "good" life when she followed Naomi. For all she knew, perhaps no Israelite man would want to marry a Moabitess. Ruth's sons did, but that was when they were in a foreign land, and had no Israelite women to choose from. Ruth was leaving everything that she had known her whole life (except for Naomi), and going to a land she did not know, to live among people she did not know. But she went anyway. She told Naomi that she would follow her, and nothing but death would part them. And she meant it. Ruth followed Naomi's directions when they arrived in Bethlehem. She went out to the fields to glean behind the harvesters. They were doing alright. They had food, they had each other, and they had God. But Ruth needed a husband. So she followed Naomi's directions in seeking out Boaz and asking him to take his role as their kinsman redeemer. And the thing about this is that after she approached Boaz and told him what she wanted him to do, she left it up to him. She did not try to work things out on her own, instead, trusting Boaz to do what needed to be done.
How would things have worked out if Ruth said, "No, I am going to do what I want to do with my life, and I am not going to take anyone's advice. I'm certainly not going to trust some guy I don't even know."? Probably nothing. If she was not a strong, godly woman, she would not have caught Boaz's attention. And even if she did, she would have ruined things by going to the men at the gate to tell them to let Boaz be her Kinsman redeemer. They would likely have sent her away, and ignored her request. Ruth was strong when she needed to be, and trusted people when she could not be the strong one. This is true strength; to be able to let go of control and let someone else handle things, or let someone else give you directions. I'm not saying to be lazy. Laziness is not strength. But stepping back when someone else can do things better than you can, and being honest enough to say that you need someone else, is strength.
Esther is another strong woman in the Bible. She had her Uncle Mordecai who was to her like Naomi was to Ruth. Mordecai was the one who taught Esther, the one who raised her to be the woman that she was. And she followed his directions, even though it seemed like they would cause her death. There were times that she sort of questioned, saying that if she went to the King, she could be killed, but she did it anyway.
And the major thing that Esther did before going to the King, was that she fasted and prayed, and called others to fast and pray with her. She showed her dependence on God through this. It was not all about her, and how amazing she was because she was the King. Through the whole thing, she remained very humble, and showed respect. Esther's demeanor the entire time that she dealt with the problem of Haman was that of a Proverbs 31 woman. And through that, she earned the favour of the King; something she probably would not have done had she stormed in and demanded that he listen to her. It takes a very strong woman to keep those traits even through trials.

I was listening to a political debate a while ago, and one of the candidates said this, "This country has a trust deficit." This is so true. Our country is full of people who do not know how to trust. It takes a strong woman to trust in spite of being hurt. And it takes a strong woman to truly be trustworthy. Are you a woman that anyone can come to, knowing that you will not judge or share confidences? Do you trust? Are you able to really talk to people, and accept their help as well? If not, maybe it's something that should be worked on. I know it's something that I am working on. And for men (if any read this the whole way through...) are you being the kind of man who draws that out of the women in your life? A woman should be strong no matter what her circumstances are, but there is something about a man who encourages a woman to be strong that makes her desire strength, and want to rise to those expectations.

Well, I finally bought my ticket, sent out support emails/messages, and got everything started with getting lodging in Ooty. It's sort of starting to feel real. Kinda. But it's not going to quite feel real until I am on the ground in India.
I've been feeling more and more excited lately. I am a little bit apprehensive, because I know things aren't the same as they were last time, but still excited. I know that I feel at home in Ooty, and that has nothing to do with the consistency of the Leg Up program. Sometimes I feel more at home there than I do in the States.
It's always a surreal feeling knowing that in a month or so I will be getting on a plane, and, after being in transit for around 24 hours, I will be halfway across the world, and in a completely different time zone. It's very weird to skype with my folks at night, when they are just starting their day.
But it is amazing how quickly you can get used to things that you have not dealt with your whole life. Driving on the left side of the road, not looking men in the eyes, eating different food, learning to communicate with people who only sort of speak english. And then there are the bucket baths, squat toilets, animals roaming the streets, and various other things. But it's somehow amazing.
I'll be writing more as it gets closer to time to leave. I just wanted to share how I am feeling now. It's so exciting to actually have my ticket, and have the dates I'll be there. I love it :~)